Carpe Diem
by Zilleniose
Summary: After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well. Joshua x Neku
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17 (In later chapters - as of now, it's only PG-13-ish)  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)

and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.  
**  
WARNING**: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.

--oo0oo--

Carpe Diem  
_Capitulus Una_

It was the typical day in Shibuya down near the park. Shiki had texted Neku earlier that day with the invitation to chatter with herself, Rhyme, and Beat. Considering Neku rarely got to see his friends, even after the four all received second chances; it was obvious that the orangey brunet lunged on the chance to spend time with his only three friends.

Neku walked silently down the street near Towa Records. The murmuring of voices and beeps of cars rushing by nearby seemed so scant compared to the memory of scanning an area. A thousand voices resonating at once; some giggling, some screaming in agony, others whispering…Neku was surprised that he had managed to scan so often. So, the everyday bustling of Shibuya no longer bothered him…he had no use for his once perfunctory purple headphones that he wore everywhere.

He hadn't been past Madoi City for awhile…so ambling through the once familiar streets spurred countless, fuzzy memories into Neku's mind. The missions, the heartache, the—He shook his head absently and hurried his pace. He hadn't thought about the Game in over a month and now was not the time to start picking up old, bad habits.

The skinny teenager paused at an intersection, waiting eagerly to cross to see the faces of his eccentric friends. His mind lingered off, though, as he stood there. Was the UG even back?... Why had they all been given a second chance? Were players rushing by him right not to accomplish a mission?

Without really thinking, Neku stepped out onto the road, thinking he had heard the beeping that signaled it was safe to walk. What he had heard was the faint beeping of his cell phone, in his memory, informing him of an incoming mission. The sound was ironic, almost, due to the fact that when Neku trudged across the road, a car so gracefully rushed up the road and screeched to a halt. The dilatory breaking was all it took to knock the once introverted brunet out and engulf him into bitter darkness that seeped through his skin and into his body as his mind shut off.

And as his body numbed, his mind repeated one phrase.

_Not again._

--oo0oo--

There was no way of knowing just how much time had passed before familiar noises began to ring in the boy's ears once again. The shuffling of feet, some stomping, others idling every few seconds, others rushing past without a second thought - the melodic tune of the crosswalk signal - the chattering of hundreds of people, their voices all meshed into a dull buzzing sound as light just barely began to penetrate his eyelids. There were no sirens, no screaming. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Well, almost nothing.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." A pair of cool fingers brushed against Neku's forehead, before pulling at a lock of orange hair in a somewhat bored fashion, letting the strands fall back on his face with a giggle. "How undignified... sleeping with your stomach exposed like that. Really now, you might actually catch a cold."

Neku groaned some. Damnit. It felt like he had just fallen through ten miles of concrete…not like he had ever experienced that sensation before, but it was a comparable comparison. Regardless of the pain that was slowly edging away, Neku's head lifted up. His tired eyes met the scrambling of feet, shoes of different colors, and the distant background noise of a commercial booming through the area. This combination of noises belonged to only one place—Scramble Crossing.

Neku at once jolted up when another person's touch and words registered in his brain. He sat back in alarm as his eyes met with a body that he had once willed himself to forget because it 'was just in the past, Neku'.

"_No_!" he hollered in anger as the realization that he was back in the UG. "Damnit, why am I here?" he demanded as he stared with unforgiving eyes at the other. Of course, the realization of who it truly was hadn't set in yet. Too many things to adjust to at the moment.

"Well, why else?" He was met with the familiar sardonic grin and cold stare of blue eyes, the other boy twirling his hair idly. "You _died_, Neku. Again. Welcome home." The last statement was uttered in a sickeningly sweet sarcastic tone.

Neku blinked a few times, just watching the other's smug demeanor. The orange-brunet felt his left eye twitch before a new wave of anger spread through him like an untamed wildfire.

"_You_! You had something to do with this!" he accused angrily and reached outward. His shaking fingers curled around the loose collar of the other's shirt and attempted to yank the other closer. "I'm not dead! I didn't die! This isn't happening!..."

Joshua was unfazed at the display of unbridled hatred wafting off of Neku like a foul stench, even as he was pulled closer by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to look the boy directly in the eye. "I only wish I could take such credit." He replied in an even tone, still smiling as if amused by this untimely turn of events. "But you died on your own this time. Such a terrible mistake, really... Rushing past traffic to see your dear friends, hm? Blissfully unaware until a vehicle broke every bone in your body and smashed your head right into the pavement."

Neku's anger continued to grow exponentially. Everything about this boy irked him—everything about his voice, his looks, and above all—his prissy attitude! By the end of the silveret's spiel, Neku was about to pin the taller to the ground and duke it out with his already curled up fist but…the end brought him a sudden silence.

That was right…he had been crossing the street to see his friends…and. "Cut the morbid crap out, Joshua," Neku grumbled as he let go of the other's collar, his mind already getting used to the sadistic and cruel ways of the other. "I'm so glad you enjoyed watching me die, again," he added on in an utterance of pure aversion.

"Hardly. It was quite the messy sight - I wouldn't care to see it again." Even at the admittance of such a crude opinion, Joshua still continued to smile, straightening up his shirt after the collar had been crumpled in the brunet's fist. After all, Neku was always so easy to read - this sort of reaction was more than expected on the Composer's part. For a moment Joshua mused about how well Neku was covering the psychological stages of death... even after said death. Hm. That sort of irony didn't amuse him as much as he initially thought.

"...And why are you here? I thought big-bad Composers, like yourself, had more important things to do with their time. Or are you and your minions placing bets again? If so, tell me this time instead of leaving me in the dark and shooting me," he muttered harshly and rubbed at his bruised arm.

His gaze flicked off Joshua and down onto his bony arms that were littered with small scrapes and bruises. Thankfully nothing of the car crash was present on his body. It would have been quite the sight if he was in UG in that condition...

"Mm, I suppose with that attitude, I should simply return to my throne, and leave you out here stranded without a partner." The silver-haired boy pondered aloud, crossing his arms with less amusement than he initially had at the start of this lovely reunion. "Really now, after I came all this way to make sure you had a fighting chance against the Noise, you repay me like this? I thought I taught you better manners than that, Neku."

Neku twitched. Sure, Joshua had taught him some good things, but he had shattered his trust, lied to him, and killed him. Not once, but friggin' _twice_. How could he be so calm around his murderer even after a year had passed?

Neku exhaled loudly and remained seated on the ground. As long as Joshua was nearby, just incase a noise attacked, he was fine. "I can find a partner myself," he muttered and eyed Joshua for a brief moment. "And I don't get why'd you make a special appearance just to welcome me back to hell."

"Oh, so my lovely Shibuya is now Hell, hm?" The Composer faked a hurt tone, placing a hand to his chest as if he was completely taken aback by that statement. "I believe that's only after you're erased." His smile seemed to grow just slightly as scarlet Noise symbols morphed into existence, surrounding them one by one. "The clock is ticking, Neku... now are you going to stop being a sore loser and accept my offer? Or would you rather be Noise food?"

Neku watched the noise with a rather deadly look. He thought he had seen the last of those damn things... His stomach churned and he wanted nothing more than just to die. Perhaps he could just brood about and--no, he needed a partner so the noise would stay the hell away.

"Don't think I've forgiven you," Neku stated coldly as he promptly snagged Joshua's hand and curtly clasped his fingers around it, eyes shutting. Blue light engulfed him, the pact already tying his body and binding their souls.

Joshua gave Neku a smirk as his hand fit inside the other's, the familiar blue light encasing both of them. Already, the smaller Noise began to form from the symbols - mostly frogs at this point - but the others began to back away at the formation of the pact. "Or course, dear." He replied in a mocking tone, thrilled with the rush of energy that flowed through both of their veins. The silver-haired boy vaguely remembered the first pact he had... back when he was still a Player in the Game... it was empowering, but it paled in comparison with the bond he has now twice with Neku. Perhaps it was because of his Imagination... after all, Neku was a formidable opponent. "Let's get this over with quickly, shall we?" He grinned at his partner.

"Whatever you say, Josh..." Neku nodded albeit his statement and got to his feet, reaching for his player pin. He paused, then sighed mentally in relief when he realized his pins from a year ago had once again appeared. He was about to call forth a psych when he realized that his hand was still firmly clasped in Joshua's. He let go quickly, as if he burned, and quickly went to casting a lightning strike.

Joshua blinked, having been unaware that their hands were still clasped together as well - but all that went through his mind was how amusing it was when Neku acted as if he was holding onto the tail of an enraged viper, and not his hand. He simply giggled and disappeared, heading into the separate ground he used to fight in, quickly disposing of the Noise with little power. He needed to stay hidden after all, act like a Player - at least, for now.

"Good job, Neku" He grinned as he reappeared beside the brunet, hands in his pockets. "I thought you'd be out of practice from your years' worth vacation, but I guess I was wrong."

Neku rolled his eyes and willed himself to deal with Joshua for now. Half of him just wanted to give the game up and be erased, and half didn't want that--he owed it to his friends to try.

A pause.

"...You're the Composer. Can't you just bring me back to life? Or do I have to 'deem' myself worthy in your oh-so powerful eyes?" he mocked and folded his arms to his chest, head tilted. He already knew what the answer would be so he braced himself.

"Mm, perhaps you do." Joshua nearly purred, giving the other boy a knowing smile. "After all, it'd be such a shame to say goodbye when you've only just gotten here. Don't you want to catch up? I'm sure I've been missed dearly."

Neku groaned. So Joshua was keeping him here for his twisted pleasure? Ahahaa...wonderful. The brunet sighed and allowed his shoulders to slouch some. Another week with the crazy pretty kid. Even _more_ wonderful!

"...You are the spawn of evil," he decided and took out his player pin, idly rubbing the back of it to keep his mind off the silveret beside him.

"I missed you too." He giggled in a mocking tone, blinking as his cell phone began to ring. Neku's wasn't going off at the same time either, so that must mean...

Without a word, he flipped his cell open, reading the text message that was hastily put together. For a moment, a look of fear washed over Joshua's face - well, at least as close to fear as he ever got, which was only vaguely distinguishable from his few array of emotions. "Looks like we've got a mission." He spoke in a steady tone, closing his phone almost a little too quickly. "CAT Street, five minutes. Let's book it." The silver-haired Composer was always practically unreadable, but this time, there was something slightly off with his actions. Something a little more... stiff, perhaps?

Neku eyed Joshua for a moment. He was about to argue that his phone hadn't gone off but the five minutes deal caught him off guard. "Five minutes?!" he hollered and jolted up in the air in alarm. That would mean they'd have to run... and Joshua hated to sweat and..argh. If he caused him to lose this mission he was mincemeat from the grave…

"Come on!" Neku stated in a flustered voice as he grabbed Joshua's wrist and began racing towards the Department store area to race towards Cat Street. Too bad he didn't catch on to the trick Josh had used once more.

Joshua sighed inwardly once he knew his little white lie seemed to work, but wasted no time relishing in relief. In an instant he grasped his hand over Neku's wrist in return, tightening the hold they had on each other, and began to sprint, all but completely dropping his 'defenseless' facade and quickly ran through the street, soon having to drag Neku behind him.

It didn't take long before their first wall was spotted, the black-hooded Reaper not far from it, leisurely leaning back against a telephone pole, hands stuffed in his pockets. "Of all the..." Joshua mumbled to himself, for a moment cursing his own will that formed the creation of the Wall Reapers.

He didn't slow down, eyes set forward as his grip tightened on Neku's wrist.

"Joshua!" Neku warned as he spotted the reaper himself. "There's going to be a wall!" he barked, a bit short of breath from the running. But, he was in shape so it didn't bother him too much. But seriously! Reapers meant walls and was Joshua nuts? Were they going to just bolt through the damn wall?

"Stop, would you!? I'm not in the mood to slam into an invisible electric fence!"

"Not now, dear." Joshua replied in a somewhat strained voice, before focusing his energy, glowing a faint white around his entire body. So much for keeping a low profile... Sanae was going to kill him. For a moment he closed his eyes before they snapped open and the light around his body shot straight through the crowd and morphed into something reminiscent of an arrow, flying past the Reaper and right into the wall.

Before it completely shattered it into a million little semi-transparent pieces.

"What the-!" The Wall Reaper jumped as Joshua plowed through without so much as a second glance, still dragging Neku behind him, not missing a beat.

Neku blinked in dumbfounded surprise as he was rushed through what used to be a wall. He stared in mortification back at the reaper and the nonexistent wall. His head snapped back forward as he raced with Joshua, his eyes wide.

"Since when could you do that?" Neku demanded as his hand instinctively tightened around Joshua's wrist in return.

"Since when have I couldn't? This _is_ my game." He replied back in a stiff tone, sounding much more like a Player - there was actual concern and haste in his voice.

Problem is, Players couldn't exactly dismantle a wall at will. Oh yes, and this was Joshua. Any time he seemed even semi-serious, there was usually a problem.

And it didn't stop there. Two broken walls later, the Reapers began to catch on and finally decided something was wrong (which probably should have been deducted at the first broken wall, but they were hired for brawl, not brains). "Who-_oaa_, slow down!" Three Reapers flew down from the roofs, hands glowing with energy as they began to summon Noise, the scarlet-colored symbols materializing the air beside them. Really now, weren't they supposed to report this sort of thing before rushing in like fools? Well, not that Joshua was complaining... "I'm not sure how you managed to break through the walls, but-"

The silver-haired boy didn't even let the Reaper finish before he lashed out a hand glowing with white ethereal light, and sliced it in the air, forming a large bullet that slammed right into the black hooded figure and successfully scaring the other two off. For a moment Joshua's gaze met Neku's - his usual laid back, if not somewhat cold stare had turned fiery, rage boiling up inside of him. He was doing his best to stay calm, but even he couldn't do that in this condition. He quickly avoided Neku's gaze and instead concentrated on the path ahead. They were almost there…

By that point Neku had deduced that something was very much wrong. As he continued racing with Josh, his body sweating from everything that had just happened and the rush of the hot air against his skin, a thought occurred to him. He lifted his right palm (thankfully his left was preoccupied) and inspected it. No timer...

He sighed mentally. Great. He had been tricked _again_. Neku mentally smacked himself but the brief stare into his eyes that Josh had given him had spoken volumes. Something was off and it had scared the Composer out of his wits and smug demeanor.

Neku chose not to say anything and continued with his partner, hand absentmindedly slipping just the slightest away from the Composer's wrist and towards his hand.

They rushed through the park underpass and across the bridge in record time, not that he had the leisure to give himself a mental pat on the back for that. An eerie screeching sound resonated from above the clouds - before a large explosion just seconds behind them nearly knocked both boys off their feet. Oh god, they were already here...

"_NEKU_! GET IN THE CAFE!" Joshua yelled as he used the last bit of physical strength he could get out of this body to propel the brunet in front of him, still running at top speed. They were close, so close... If they could just make it to the doors-

Another otherworldly screech filled the air before another explosion, and a pain shot through Joshua unlike anything he's ever felt before. He let go of Neku's hand, faltering in his steps before he froze altogether, a large glowing white arrow protruding through his chest. For a split second his eyes widened in pain before they closed and he fell to the ground in a soundless 'thwump'.

Neku crashed into the front door and hurried and then slammed the door shut. He slumped down the side of the wall and peered weakly over his shoulder. "What the hell was that Jo-" he began but then froze. Where the hell was he?!

"_Joshua_?!" he demanded and held the doorknob shut before looking outside. His stomach lurched and he gripped the handle tighter. "Joshua?!" he repeated louder his time when his eyes locked with the fallen form of the silveret.

"Mr. H! Where are you?! Josh...Josh is..." he gasped and debated running outside.

Sanae Hanekoma was already at the door, pushing past Neku none too gently, obviously having expected them - but he expected them both to walk in the cafe... intact. With nearly inhuman speed he picked up the seemingly lifeless boy that once lay sprawled on the streets, dragging him in and shutting the door tight behind him, muttering a few incomprehensible words before the door glowed a faint green, fading back to normal within a few seconds. "The back room, Phones." The older man repositioned his hold on Joshua before leading the way past the 'employees only' door, setting the fair-haired Composer down on a couch, faltering as he looked at the shining arrow that was now embedded in his superior.

"You are ten kinds of stupid, you know that Boss?" Sanae grumbled before standing and rushing over to a nearby cabinet, practically throwing its contents onto the counter below.

Neku slowly walked over to where Joshua was resting. His hands twitched uneasily by his sides as he crept over and stood by the fallen Composer's side. "What the hell did you get yourself into, Josh?" he murmured and eyed the teen for a long moment. He couldn't have pushed him out the way, right? He just...

Neku shook his head and tried to block that thought out. Joshua would never do that. Nope... "Is he...dead?" Neku dared and looked over at Sanae.

"He will be if I don't - aha!" Sanae triumphantly pulled out what seemed like a small gold ring from the plethora of junk that once filled the cabinet, and ran back over to the motionless boy on the couch. Without missing a beat, he placed the ring over the white arrow, and the offending weapon faded, causing Joshua to flinch in pain, before fading back into unconsciousness, his silver hair covering his eyes.

"I think he'll be alright... I was able to get that arrow out of him before it killed him." The older man sighed, rubbing his neck stressfully. "I'm in all kinds of shit now too I suppose..."

"Care to explain what's going on?" Neku murmured and slipped down onto his knees beside the couch to survey Joshua. To think that he had almost died...it seemed illogical and impossible.

He kept his gaze locked with the unconscious boy, as if somehow entranced by how different he looked.

Sanae groaned aloud, running his fingers through his hair nervously. "Simply put..." He paused for a moment, as if still taking in the severity of the situation. He never expected Joshua to do something like this... "He broke the rules, Phones."

"What rules? He's the Composer, isn't he? All high and mighty?" Neku muttered and glanced between Joshua and Mr. H, biting his bottom lip absentmindedly. What rule could Joshua possibly break?

Another sigh. "Technically, yes. Joshua has the ability to morph, break, and create everything in Shibuya... but even Shibuya has rules of its own. Not that many might I add, but he happened to break one. And when a Composer does that... the Angels come down to inflict divine punishment, if you will." There was another uncomfortable pause as Sanae wondered just how he was going to explain all of this to Neku without rattling his brain. "There are two parties in play here, Phones. Not just one. Composers and Angels have about the same level of power, even if they rule over different territory. But to make sure one doesn't overstep their boundaries, they each have their own rules that should never be broken - but when they are, Joshua here can inflict punishment on an Angel, and, as you've seen... visa versa. It's to ensure that neither party will become too powerful."

Neku nodded slowly, uncertain if he truly believed that or not. But still...he had seen that arrow and those screeches that had sent shivers down his spine and made his clutch at Joshua's hand in mortification. The male paused. "What rule did he break, then?" He was interested. Whatever Josh had fucked up on caused _this_.

Sanae gave Neku a meaningful look. "When you died, Phones, your soul had already been refined through Joshua's game. You're pure, and thus, prepared for the next world. Joshua's job is to refine souls like yours through his Game, to ensure a happy ending. Reincarnation is one possibility, whereas an unrefined soul will turn into Noise, or be driven towards Hell. An Angel's job is to take refined souls and guide them where they need to go. In short, you were supposed to go to the afterlife Phones, not come back to the game. Joshua overstepped his boundaries by taking you before an Angel could... he wanted to give you another chance."

Neku eyed Sanae for a moment. He then burst out into brief laughter. "Joshua? Risk his life for me?" He laughed and then ceased when he realized that it wasn't funny and actually true. He paled and then averted his eyes, almost ashamed. "...Why the hell would he do that for me?" he muttered and looked uneasily to Joshua.

"He'd never admit it, the stubborn boy he is..." Sanae took a few steps back and settled into a chair, taking a pack of cigarettes out from his back pocket. "But he really cares for you. Even after you lost the final Game to him, he still sent you back with the others, and he kept Shibuya alive." He paused to laugh, recalling an embarrassing thought. "He was sulking for a while after you left. Said it was boring without his little proxy. I guess that's his own way of saying he missed you - but he was glad to see you were alive and happy."

Neku rolled his eyes. It was like Joshua to call him 'his proxy' as if he were just some toy used in a bet, which he truly was. But... Neku looked back to Joshua. He had risked his own life? "Will he wake up soon?" he murmured and kept his gaze on the fallen boy. He resisted touching the silver hair, not wanting to give Mr. H any wrong impressions.

"I would hope so. It'll be a while before someone up there comes down to see why he's not dead... a day or two at most. We gotta figure out what we're going to do before then... if anything." The older man slouched and lit his cigarette, taking a deep breath in before sighing out a breath of smoke. "The way things are going, I'm as good as dead, too. Stubborn little bugger, isn't he? Always thinks things will go the way he wants them to."

As if on cue, the silver-haired boy began to cough, leaning up shakily as he covered his mouth, barely able to prop himself up on his elbow. "...'Th' fuck hit me...?" He mumbled, noticing with dismay his hand was now stained with blood. That felt rather unpleasant.

Neku leaned his elbow against the available inch of couch and allowed his chin to rest in his palm. He looked to Mr. H, uncertain as to whether or not he should inform Joshua that he knew or not. If Joshua was going to play savior, then perhaps he'd play the dumb damsel in distress until Josh was ready to tell him himself... that seemed logical.

"Dunno. You shoved me in here before I saw anything," he sighed and offered the weakest of smiles. "Blood doesn't suit you, Josh."

"Mm, right. Looks better on you." He replied harshly, giving his partner a weak glare, hoping he got the cruel message underneath his words of the two times he had shot the brunet. "How'd I get here?"

"Drug your sorry ass in, that's how." Sanae said gruffly. "You were shot with an Angel's arrow. Was able to get it out before it killed you completely."

"You screwed yourself over the second you began to help me, you know that, right?" Joshua shot a rather peeved look at his Producer.

"You're welcome, Boss." The older man gave him a mocking salute.

Neku bristled from Joshua's words. That's nice, keep bringing the death subject back up. Real smooth... The brunet sighed and looked back and forth between the pair. He sighed and suddenly felt the urge to talk to Joshua...but of course, with Mr. H in the room, there wouldn't be a dash of seriousness... Then again, Joshua and serious didn't go either.

"...I don't think smoking in here is going to make him any better," Neku pointed out and shoot him a knowing glance. He wouldn't mention to Joshua that he knew why the angels were pissed. Nope.

"That's not exactly the case, Nek-" Joshua began to reply, but was cut off as Sanae stood up from his chair, placing the cigarette in between two fingers.

"Nahh, s'alright. I've got a few things to check out in the River anyway... I think it's still too soon for the Angels to know who rescued you, so I might as well get it out of the way before they find out." He scratched the back of his neck before placing his hand in his pocket. "Think you can take care of our little rebel here while I'm gone?"

"He hardly needs to do that..." Joshua muttered with a grimace. Honestly, he was shot in the chest and nearly killed, but he was still far more powerful than the two men in this room. Sanae knew it irked him when he talked about him like that... like he was still a kid. He was far too old for that now.

"I can take care of him. Just go do your work," Neku suggested and tossed Sanae a thankful smile before directing his gaze to Joshua. He said nothing for a moment and allowed the quietness of the room to engulf him. He'd choose not to speak until Mr. H left the pair alone.

Sanae grinned at the smile Neku gave him, nodding a bit before taking his leave, leaving the two alone. There was plenty to be done in the River in such a short amount of time... and if they needed Neku to fully cooperate, it wouldn't be a bad idea for him and the Composer to come to an understanding. Though with the way Joshua handles himself with these sorts of situations, leaving them alone for any period of time could certainly make things worse, too.

Ahh well, it was as good of a gamble as any.

--oo0oo--

No lemons yet, sadly. But there will be next chapter. 3


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17 (In later chapters - as of now, it's only PG-13-ish)  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)

and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.  
**  
WARNING**: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.

--oo0oo--

Carpe Diem  
_Capitulus Duæ_

_Sanae grinned at the smile Neku gave him, nodding a bit before taking his leave, leaving the two alone. There was plenty to be done in the River in such a short amount of time... and if they needed Neku to fully cooperate, it wouldn't be a bad idea for him and the Composer to come to an understanding. Though with the way Joshua handles himself with these sorts of situations, leaving them alone for any period of time could certainly make things worse, too. _

_Ahh well, it was as good of a gamble as any._

Neku cleared his throat once they were alone. "Uhm...need anything?" he suggested and averted his gaze awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. Stay cool...stay cool.

Joshua blinked, confused at the sudden turn of events, and the heavy air that was set about them. How long was he out? Surely not that long... "Nothing I can't get myself." He replied stubbornly, in no way surrendering to the fact that he had a moment of weakness. Joshua Kiriyu was never weak. Being shot was just a simple miscalculation - a minor setback. He was essentially fine, just... his chest hurt a bit. And he coughed up a tiny bit of blood. Big deal.

As if to simply emphasize his statement, he reached a hand out in a lazy fashion, before a towel that hung near the sink (which had half of the contents that were spilled out of the cabinet above it) tugged away from its resting place, and simply flew into his hand, where he promptly cleaned the blood off in a dignified manner.

"Thank you," Neku mumbled at last, eyes cast somewhere else as his hands laced reluctantly in his lap. He wasn't one for gratitude but Joshua had saved him from dying in more ways than one. Especially back there with the angels. So a thank you was in order. He doubted Joshua would accept it because, well, he was just that kind of person, he supposed.

A holy arrow cast down from the heavens to kill him didn't faze him in the slightest - no no, but any show of gratitude from Neku, after having been shot twice by his own hands, having harbored such immense hatred towards him, that was what finally shocked Joshua into making probably the most unbecoming expression. He looked at the brunet, whose gaze was set towards the hands in his lap, with a completely dumbfounded expression.

"...What are you talking about, Neku?" He quickly covered up his shocked state with his signature smile, his words mocking and slightly sadistic - same as always. "Have you finally lost it? I was wondering when that'd happen. Coming to the UG four times could have that effect on humans."

Neku twitched. "Why can't you, just for once, accept someone's thanks?" he demanded and threw his head up, eyes locking harshly onto Joshua's. There was no way that Joshua could still be so damn smug about everything when he almost died himself. "And I'm perfectly sane, thank you. If anyone is crazy it's you for messing with beings like that," he muttered and folded his arms stubbornly to his chest.

"Messing with who now?" The silver-haired Composer played dumb. It was a perfected skill, after all. "Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue of what you're blathering about."

Neku twitched some. Fine then. If Joshua was going to treat him this way, he would as well. He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you such an asshole, Joshua? You almost died and you don't seem at all bothered."

"But I didn't die. It was a slightly miscalculation, but well within the limits of my plan." He replied with a steady tone, looking back at Neku's glaring gaze with calm blue eyes. "I have a goal in mind - nothing can stop me when I have my mind set on something. You should know that better than anyone." He smiled, giving the brunet a knowing look.

He couldn't take this mental and verbal abuse. "Why did you do it, Josh? Why did you put yourself in harm's way just to save a nobody?" he muttered and averted his gaze, not understanding this at all. If Josh saved him, why was he treating him like garbage? Did he want him as a personal plaything?

Joshua's smile fell slowly, but didn't disappear altogether. "You're not a "nobody", Neku." He stated simply, as if it was something he should have known already. "You're my partner. Do I need any other reason? I thought that was something you learned during your previous time in the UG."

"You could have died yourself out there but you choose me over yourself. Why? This wasn't like what happened with Sho. You could have _died_," he emphasized and stared at disbelief at Joshua.

Finally, Joshua's gaze fell more solemn, and for once, he gave Neku a look that wasn't demeaning or mocking. It was the look of someone who actually understood the brunet's emotion, his anger, his confused state. He was actually looking at Neku like an equal.

His gaze turned away slowly, searching around idly with his mouth partially open, just like a child who couldn't find the words to say something worth anything. "If... I had to choose," He replied softly, looking up just slightly towards the door Sanae walked out not all that long ago. "I guess... it would be, because you were the only person to treat me like a friend ever since I died."

"Joshua..." Neku was having a hard time coping with how serious and calm the other was acting. He bit his lip and sat there, uncertain what to say. Had Joshua just told him that he valued him as a friend and not just some plaything he had used as a proxy? He eyed the male for a moment and then laughed quietly under his breath. "I...still haven't forgiven you entirely, quite yet, but I do trust you, Josh." He was uncertain how meaningful his words would be, but they were the best he could come up with--the most he would allow from himself at that moment. And they were all true.

"Well of course," He stated with a giggle, playing with a strand of hair, though he still seemed more reserved than usual. "Who else are you going to trust? Your choices are pretty slim to begin with."

"Let's just...get you better and focus on this week, hm?" Neku suggested awkwardly and paused. He reached out and placed a hesitant hand over Joshua's forehead. He casually played off the action a moment later with, "Good, you have no fever. You _are_ resilient."

The silver-haired boy blinked, taken aback by the simple touch, unexpected but not unwelcome. His gaze fell once more, before a pale hand slowly came up, fingertips touching the back of Neku's hand just barely, before placing his palm over it softly. It really was unfair, wasn't it? His fingers curled around Neku's hand slowly, his eyes lidding as he tried to hide how scared he really was.

"I'm...sorry." He whispered, voice barely audible. "...I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I wanted to... I saw the car, I knew you were there, but...I couldn't..."

Neku blinked in surprise. What?... "Joshua?..." He had been there? He had seen it? And more importantly, Joshua's smug demeanor had fallen and, his hand... Neku glanced at their hands, not moving his away. He stared at them for a brief moment before looking back to his partner with concern.

"...No one could have saved me, Josh. I was careless. I should have paid more attention," he admitted and shook his head. He didn't know what to do. He just sat there for a moment, battling with indecision. His fingers hesitantly linked with Joshua's, his heart increasing its rate.

"I'm the Composer. I have such immeasurable power... everything in Shibuya is mine to control." He replied with a small laugh, head lowering as his grip on Neku's hand tightened. "...But I couldn't stop one single goddamn tiny car. If only I had been in the RG... I wouldn't have had to pull you into this mess. I..." He laughed again, voice straining just slightly. "I guess I really am powerless, after all. The one time it really truly mattered, I couldn't do anything..."

"It wasn't your place to do anything," Neku decided and uncertainly brushed his thumb along the cool, soft back of Joshua's hand. "But hey, at least I got to see you again, hm?" he suggested and awkwardly laughed some, uncertain why he was suddenly so damn nervous and stumbling for words. This wasn't him.

There was a long, uncomfortable pause as neither of them could think to say anything else of worth, Joshua refusing to let go of Neku's hand the entire time. He wasn't sure why himself, but... it was somehow comforting. Just knowing that Neku accepted him enough to-

"Hey you two, fin-" Sanae propped the door open with his foot, one hand holding a bag that was slung lazily over one shoulder, the other still holding a cigarette - a new one, but it wasn't at all surprising, considering he could go through a pack in thirty minutes. Being dead did have a few of its positives.

Like, not keeling over after holding one's breath for too long.

Neku's hand, which had apparently been clutched almost desperately in Joshua's, was flung to the side like it was acid. The Composer sitting on the couch then rubbed his face with his forearm hastily, and he coughed, trying to hide whatever it was that made the tension in the room so high. But, for a split second, he saw it.

Joshua had, for but a moment, tears in his eyes.

Joshua.

Was crying.

Dear lord, it was worse than he thought. The world as they knew it was coming to an end.

"S-So, how's Sir Hole-in-His-Chest?" Sanae asked Neku with a carefree grin, as he walked over to set down his bag on the counter.

"I don' t have a hole in my chest." Joshua snapped back.

Neku eyed Mr. H and then Joshua for a moment. He had seen the change, the unusual look on Joshua's face, and the change of emotion and currency in the room. He had felt the tension in the deepest pit of his stomach and heart and in the hand that had once been in his partner's. Something had occurred to Neku, but he couldn't distinguish what it was. Perhaps that...this moment had proved Joshua human, just like everyone else? Or was there more?

But that honesty in his eyes...everything Joshua had done for him. Neku tossed Mr. H a warm, welcoming look before glancing back at Joshua. He made a move to fix a cushion or whatnot on the couch for his partner but instead murmured towards his ear, "I think …I forgive you." He pulled back and folded his arms to his chest.

"You sure were quick," He offered to Sanae.

"Didn't take all that long to find what I needed..." The cafe owner replied idly, leaning on the counter and taking another breath from his cigarette. "Plus, the GameMaster has sent out Reapers like crazy, looking for the "rouge player who smashed through nearly every Wall in Shibuya". Good job keeping a low-pro, Boss."

"Conductor will fix it." Joshua replied in a stubborn tone, still looking away from the both of them, completely taken aback by Neku's statement. He must have heard wrong…right? There's no way Neku could have forgiven him. "Besides, there's more at stake here at the moment. We've got more important things to worry about."

"More important things? Such as?" Neku was curious and he figured he'd talk to Joshua some more once Mr. H left, or until they figured out what their first day mission would be, if they got any. He sighed some and leaned back, watching Sanae with a calm expression despite how badly his stomach was churning. His hand that had been in Joshua's still was a bit numb and he hadn't the slightest idea why.

"Such as finding out what to do about the Angels that are coming to dethrone Joshua." Sanae replied calmly, but it was obvious he was anything but. "It seems pretty dismal, but fundamentally, we've got just as good of a chance as beating them as they do us. Especially since we've got one hell of a Player here to back us up, eh Phones?"

"...Speaking of which, has there not been a mission set for today?" The silver-haired Composer turned, sitting up as best he could, flinching only slightly this time. It hurt still, but it was more of a dull pain now.

"No, there hasn't - I'm sure because of the commotion you caused." The older man pointed his cigarette at his Boss. "You sure are wreaking havoc on your own Game."

"They probably won't issue one for another hour or so, I guess," Neku mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck before glancing up at Joshua, eyes softening just a fraction as he sat there. "If it's not that hard of a mission, I can go do it myself. I mean, we still have a pact so I don't see why the noise would attack me," he reasoned.

He paused and then just stared back at the Composer, as if something about him had suddenly caught his full attention. What exactly, he wasn't too sure of.

"You think I'll let you out of my sight just like that?" Joshua gave him a bit of a smug grin. "And what if a Reaper got you, hmm? You wouldn't be able to fight without me."

Neku smirked quietly to himself. Was there...a slight fondness in those words? "The Reapers can't attack until the last day, remember? They wouldn't suspect me of anything without you lingering about," he answered just as smugly. His eyes, despite his smug words, were oddly soft and...understanding?

"Touche." The Composer replied smoothly. "Still, you're not stepping foot out of this cafe. Can't have my little proxy running off just when things are getting good."

Sanae silently rolled his eyes. Would it kill the kid to, just once, say what he's thinking without wrapping it in something demeaning?

But Neku was slowly, ever so slowly, catching on. "Getting good? Well, I wouldn't want to miss all the action out there," he reasoned and proceeded to state, "Then again, if my partner wants me to stay, I will," he concluded with a small twinkle in his eye. He wasn't sure what the underlying things were in this conversation but...his hand was still numb and that intrigued him.

Neku was obviously a good deal braver than he was just an hour ago... he wasn't sure why, but it irked him. He wasn't used to his partner talking to him in such a manner. Still, it was also at the same time... a little refreshing. Kind of like how things used to be back in the second week Neku was in his Game. "I would like you to stay, Neku." He admitted with a bit of a smile, obviously not used to ... not demanding things out of people. God, this was weird.

"I've figured it out." Sanae slapped a hand on the counter. "This is all a dream. Some crazy mixed-up world where Joshua has lost his mind. It's Armageddon. Ragnarok. The Apocalypse."

Neku passed a glance over to CAT and snickered quietly under his breath. "...If this is a dream, it's pretty messed up, huh?" he decided and looked back to Joshua with a small smirk. "Then perhaps I will stay," he decided and folded his arms casually across his chest. "Only if you let me sit on the couch as well. This floor isn't that comfortable," he pointed out and shrugged his shoulders.

"You, Sanae - shut it. And you, Neku - stop encouraging him." He frowned, before laying back down, and stretching his legs so that he covered the entire expanse of the couch. "We don't let animals on the furniture here. Deal."

"Oh for heaven's sake Boss, stop-"

"If I did anything for heaven's sake Sanae, we'd all be screwed. Now let me have my fun and toy with my proxy."

Neku was going to have none of that. "It's Neku," he retorted stubbornly and got to his feet with a slight stumble. "And second of all, if that's the case, I don't see why you're on the couch either." And he promptly shifted his body ever so slightly so he was laying, practically on top of the Composer with a smirk. "So deal," he concluded and laced his hands together on top of Joshua's chest carefully, not bothered one ounce by this form of torture he was bestowing.

Joshua's eye twitched, looking much like a cat who had just been rubbed the wrong way. With a very wet hand. "You will get off of me this instant." He stated firmly, and simply. "Before I make you get off. I guarantee it will not be pleasant."

"Make me?" Neku chuckled sarcastically and hummed some, looking as defiant and simple-minded as ever. "Partner, I don't think you'd push me off. I'm supposed to trust you, and I trust you not to chuck me off you and break my back." Absently his hands became unlaced and he rested comfortably, his eyes drifting to meet Joshua's as his hand fell to the side between the couch and Joshua's body.

"I'll break more than your back..." He mumbled, looking positively irked. Frighteningly enough though, he began to grin, and lifted a hand just barely in front of Neku's line of vision, and it began to glow with a faint white light. Soon enough, Neku would find that he was practically frozen.

"Keep using your powers like that and they'll find us much sooner." Sanae sighed and lit another cigarette, fingering through a book he brought back with him.

"Oh I don't need to use much..." Joshua's grin just got even wider, his other hand lifting, fingers curling as if playing the keys on a piano. On the other side of the room, the ice machine on the fridge began to whirr.

When he felt every single cell in his body cease movement temporarily, he couldn't help but mentally flail. He tried to move his leg but it wouldn't budge. And then he tried to cock a brow in confusion but that was also impossible. His eyes stared widely, caught in that position at the composer.

'_He wouldn't...He wouldn't kill his partner after bringing him back..._' He eyed him, trying to move but finding it impossible yet again. What had he done to him? He didn't remember Joshua having these kind of powers before? And now he was slightly terrified...

And all he could do was almost shamefully plead with his eyes. How..._shameful_.

"Ohh, you're so adorable with that look, Neku" Joshua just grinned his signature grin, moving his fingers yet again, and eventually... the hem of Neku's pants tugged up at his back, but thanks to his frozen state, he couldn't exactly see what was going on.

If Joshua's stare could have been more evil, it would have been. Because not two seconds after he let him sit there wondering, he closed one hand, letting Neku regain control over his body, and the other flicked a singer finger... before a handful of ice cubes were shoved down his back and into the rear of his pants.

Neku yelped at once, the sudden iciness on his back causing him to tumble off the couch, smash into the floor, and curse wildly. He began frantically trying to dispose of the damn _ice cubes_ and glared up at Joshua. "The _hell_ is your _problem_?!" He barked and continued fretting over his now cold and damp body as he still attempted to rid himself of the ice. _God damnit_.

"If this is your good side Boss, I'd hate to be the receiving end of whoever really pisses you off." Sanae mumbled, reaching over and throwing a towel at Neku to help him dry off - though thankfully, he didn't really get all that wet since he wore rather loose shorts and the ice fell through quickly.

"Oh come now, you can't say that wasn't the least bit funny." Joshua giggled, obviously enjoying himself.

Neku mumbled and cursed under his breath as he cleaned up some, kicking a random ice cube aside. Thank god it hadn't been under his boxers...then he would have positively ripped Joshua to shreds.

"You just wanted to sneak a peek at my ass," he muttered sarcastically and finished up with the towel before tossing it onto a random chair and looking up at Joshua, rubbing his back painfully.

"You? An ass? You're so bony I doubt you'd have anything to show." Joshua replied with a snirk. "Unless you're just looking for an excuse to get naked in front of me..."

"Could you two lovebirds keep the bickering to a minimum? Trying to read here." Sanae gave them both a pointed look.

Neku paled at that and bit his lip. He was silently shushed and couldn't think of a single witty comeback. And the worst part was that a red hue had appeared on his face. At first he was about to shout that they weren't and for Joshua to cut the shit out, but he was rendered speechless...because Mr. H, of all people, had been the one to say that.

"I can't help it everyone wants a piece of me," Joshua overdramatically placed the back of his hand to his forehead in a feminine manner. "It's a curse, being so goddamn sexy." He obviously hadn't taken Sanae's comment to heart - or at least, didn't act like he did.

Neku finally regained his composure and rolled his eyes. "Sure, Josh. I'm sure your feminine body has all the guys hollering in lust," he muttered and folded his arms to his chest, eying the silveret with a cocked brow. "I mean, who wouldn't want a guy who giggles like a hormonal female?"

"Oh my, are you hitting on me Neku? I'm much too old for you. I'd be cradle-robbing." Joshua turned to his side and grinned. "But I suppose if you beg, I'll let you lick the bottom of my shoes."

Neku rolled his eyes. "Like I'd ever want your scrawny body," he huffed and ran a hand casually through his hair. He glanced back up at Joshua on the couch, eyes filled with something he wasn't even sure about. "If anyone would be doing the begging, Mr. Composer, it'd surely be you."

"Mm, I'm sure. Because you certainly weren't begging me a moment ago on the couch." His smile turned slightly more sadistic, blue eyes watching him with a somewhat dangerous expression. "It was so cute, Neku The way you pleaded at me with your eyes when you couldn't move... I really had you terrified for a moment there, hm?"

Sanae silently flipped a page in his book, eye twitching. These two... he didn't know which one was more immature. He'd be pestering them both to concentrate on the problem at hand, but really, there wasn't much either of them could do right now... and he supposed Joshua needed this. He'd never seen the boy smile so much before. In a sick, twisted way, he was having fun.

"Cut it out," Neku grumbled and shoved upward at Joshua's arm. "Need I remind you that you don't have the best track record when it comes for me?" he suggested and then allowed his arms to slouch back down across his chest. "And don't deny it, Josh. You liked having me on top of you like that."

"That's it. You two are bugging the absolute shit outta me. When you two are done flirting, I'll be out in front." Sanae grumbled and grabbed his bag, stepping out the door, relieved at the quiet solitude the front counter brought.

Joshua giggled as his Producer walked out the door. He'd only seen Sanae truly that annoyed a handful of times... oh well. This just suddenly got twice as fun.

--oo0oo--


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)

and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.  
**  
WARNING**: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.

--oo0oo--

Carpe Diem  
_Capitulus Tres_

_"That's it. You two are bugging the absolute shit outta me. When you two are done flirting, I'll be out in front." Sanae grumbled and grabbed his bag, stepping out the door, relieved at the quiet solitude the front counter brought._

_Joshua giggled as his Producer walked out the door. He'd only seen Sanae truly that annoyed a handful of times... oh well. This just suddenly got twice as fun._

"Of course, dear. But you know..." He leaned forward, whispering just inches away from Neku's ear, so close he could feel the other's breath on his skin. "I would so much rather have it the other way around..."

Heat spiked up the brunet's neck at once. He bit his lip and averted his gaze. Why did having Mr. H gone make this suddenly a lot more awkward for him? At any rate, he tilted his head away from the voice.

"You'd want to pin me to a couch?" He suggested and arched an eyebrow slowly, stuck between reality and well...teasing.

"Mm... tempting." Joshua laughed softly, calculating blue eyes watching his every move, completely enjoying watching Neku begin to bend whatever which way he pleased. Although, he wasn't nearly as easy to manipulate as he had been... but the Composer always loved a challenge.

Neku said nothing for a moment, shrugging off his teasing. A thought he had had earlier occurred to him. "...Hey Josh? Earlier when you said you saw the car and all that...how could you? Were you...watching me for this part year?" he questioned curiously and rested the back of his head against the side of the couch so he could stare upside down at the Composer with a perplexed look.

Joshua blinked, surprised at the seemingly innocent question. "Why? Do you honestly think I'd stalk you like that? You give yourself way too much credit, Neku. Of course I didn't." There was a pause, before his smile fell a little. "... I did however see you whenever you came to Shibuya. The souls of you and your friends stick out like a sore thumb. Brilliance in a sea of mediocrity."

"Oh," he answered and nodded, accepting that at once. He gazed up at the Composer for a long moment. "Guess we're kinda hard to miss with our crazy, trendless outfits," he mused and shrugged his shoulders absently. "But thanks for the compliment."

"No problem. I'm always proud of my work." He replied with a simple grin.

Neku rolled his eyes. "Lovely. I'm a thing now," he scoffed.

"Yes. But you're _my_ thing." Joshua giggled and rested his cheek on the top of Neku's head, shoulders shaking lightly as he laughed.

Neku flushed a noticeable shade of red. "Right. I totally belong to you, Josh. I don't see a branding or an ownership tag on me," he pointed out and attempted to stay calm.

"Hmhm," The silver-haired composer chuckled, draping his arms over Neku's shoulders, shifting just slightly so he could lean down and speak just inches away from the brunet's neck. "I suppose I should give you something then..."

Neku tensed. "...Give me something?" he repeated slowly and eyed the arms rather questioningly.

"Mm," He replied, lips just barely brushing his skin as he spoke. "Something that shows you're mine..." He whispered, pressing his lips hotly to his neck with little warning, smiling inwardly to himself as he just barely nibbled at the skin.

Neku's hand instinctively went to shove at Josh's shoulders but when he felt the slight nip, the hand that had been batting away the other stilled and instead gripped the fabric of the Composer's shirt in an attempt to almost release tension.

"J-Josh?" he whispered and felt his neck crane further back, eyes lidding halfway as an almost pleased gasp left his lips.

The Composer gave him no reply, moving his lips slowly across his skin, taking his time to hesitantly lick where he initially placed the kiss. He shifted his weight just slightly so he could bring one hand up over the one that grabbed his collar, not pulling or pushing it away, just... holding it. He breathed a sigh, now gently sucking at the newly exposed skin as his partner craned his neck back.

Neku took the hint and shut up. His eyes fell completely shut as he felt his hand that touched Josh's once again go numb. A gasp of undeniable bliss escaped his lips, followed by a visible shudder from the sensation that suckle brought him. His fingers absently curled around Joshua's hand in the meantime.

Seeing as he wasn't met with any sort of resistance, Joshua continued his idle work on the brunet's neck, his free hand moving to the skin of his shoulder, fingers running under the fabric of his top, slowly down his arm... before with another sigh, he released the other boy's hand, his voice coming out in something reminiscent of small gasps. "You. Couch. Now." He whispered, hoping he'd get the hint.

Neku snapped out of his Joshua-induced stupor and turned his head slightly, watching the Composer with hazy eyes. He silently obeyed, his hand pushing down on the cushion as he got up, steadying his body. He sat down some, unable to speak or do anything for this brief moment. His mind was still trying to catch up with what was happening.

Slowly, as if he was about to break something precious, Joshua's leaned up and wrapped his arms around his partner's neck, pushing him back just slightly as he leaned in, pressing his lips Neku's in a moment of fear and complete bliss. There was a good chance he'd reject him completely after this... and he was prepared for that. But for right now, this single little moment in time, he allowed himself to relax, somehow feeling whole with such a simple act of affection.

Neku was more than just his proxy. He had been a friend, an enemy, a brave warrior and strong leader... he never admitted it to anyone, but he was partial to this young boy, even though the Composer shouldn't ever be biased. He'd seen this boy grow, over three long weeks in the sadistic play of his Game... and now, he finally understood exactly why the very thought unnerved him... why he had been so upset to see Neku die a second time, why he had so deeply missed him when he went back to the RG...

"Neku," His whispered, eyes closed as his lips moved warmly over his partner's.

Neku's back made contact with the comfortable couch behind him moments later. His eyes slipped shut, allowing his senses to fully indulge in the rarity of the moment. Thing was, Neku had told Joshua once before that he was Shibuya born and raised, so the days that he was lingering about the areas that also belonged to the UG were extremely common.

Neku's hand found refuge in the perfectly messy, silver hair of Joshua. His fingers curled absently in the mess, memorizing how it felt--he had wanted to know forever. His lips moved slowly against Joshua's, memorizing the feel and wet slide that they produced. "Josh?" he murmured into the kiss, his free arm hooking around the taller boy's waist, holding him close to his own body as he parted his lips absently.

"Mm?" The boy replied in a barely audible mumble, nipping and licking at Neku's bottom lip, sighing at the feel of the other's arms around his waist, the closeness of their bodies heating him in more ways than one. A single moment of panic set in his heart at the question of his name. He was truly scared, afraid that he was about to be pushed away. His hands gripped at the fabric of the couch on either side of Neku, wanting to badly to touch, to feel ... but at the same time, worried he'd overstep an invisible boundary between them.

"Just...surprised," Neku mumbled back and further tangled his fingers in Joshua's hair, never pulling on the delicate strands. He vaguely sensed the other's worry and subconsciously tightened his arm around his partner.

He felt the smallest sense of relief as Neku tightened his arms around his middle, but worry still tugged in the back of his mind. "Is that... a bad thing?" He whispered softly, slowing his barrage of kisses as he looked hesitantly into Neku's eyes. He'll be damned - no, he'd damn himself if he found out later his acceptance was all because of a random surge of hormones.

Neku's hand drifted from Joshua's hair and down onto the older boy's face. His palm shakily rested down onto the warm cheek, his fingers lightly curling in response as his eyes opened to stare fully at the silveret. "Think I tease without reason?" he whispered and pressed an absent kiss to Joshua's jaw, his mind returning to him. Josh. Kissing him. Right. "You do well at hiding it...better than I do," he whispered against the skin.

The Composer let out a heavy sigh, relief washing over him as he finally felt the tension somehow ease away, his hands no longer shaking as they held desperately onto the fabric of the couch. He relaxed, letting his body lay flush against his partner's for the first time, shuddering at how good it felt to be so close. Licking his lips, he slowly moved his fingers to the hem of Neku's shirt, snaking hand up it before his cool fingertips tickled his stomach in a sensual fashion.

A surprised gasp fled from Neku's already parted lips. His cheeks turned a blushing shade of pink as he shut his eyes once more. Although this was so damn...amazing, was it? he couldn't help but wonder... "D-do you mind if Mr. H comes in on us?" Obviously Neku wouldn't be bothered by an 

intrusion, but he figured 'Boss' would. He just seemed like the type to get pissed if someone interrupted him out of nowhere--uninvited.

Joshua made something of an annoyed growl, before he breathed out, fingertips curling just slightly against the brunet's stomach as they pulsed a warm white light for but two seconds. He pondered trying to find a way to seal the door to prevent any interruption, but if it was an emergency... well, he was beginning to wonder if he would really care even if the angels showed up at the front door wanting to sell a fresh batch of Girl Scout cookies. Nahh, he figured if Sanae actually came back in anytime soon, he'd take the hint and leave them be. And if he didn't... Joshua didn't really think that far ahead. Perhaps then he'd shove his Producer out and seal the door.

"Screw that." The silver-haired boy replied in barely a mutter, not really sure himself exactly what he meant. All he knew that Neku was here, panting beneath him, skin on skin in more places than one. He pitied the poor soul who tried to interrupt this.

"Screw what?" Neku hummed curiously with a smirk as he tilted his head up and nonchalantly kissed the corner of his partner's lips, his confidence slowly returning. This was Joshua. Surely he could feel comfortable doing this with him. And besides, this wasn't the first time he had imagined his partner above him like this. How could he help it? Joshua was the first guy to ever pay attention to him for more than a passing second...and he was exceptionally amusing and..._hot_.

The moment their lips met once more, Joshua returned the kiss with vigor - this time raking his tongue over the brunet's bottom lip, before somewhat forcefully sliding it into his mouth, only parting his lips to take a much needed breath every few seconds. "If you...keep tempting me..." He sighed in broken sentences, not exactly wanting to stop altogether to state something he was sure Neku already knew. "It will be...you... in the next five minutes..."

Neku chuckled breathlessly at that, rolling his eyes at the silveret's bluntness. Then again, what did he expect? His breaths were quick, short, and hot as he laid there, his hand absently slipping up the back of Joshua's shirt to explore the pale boy's skin. His lips continued meshing with the other's, his free hand once again tangling in Joshua's hair to keep them lips hard against one another's as a soft moan left the usually uptight, stubborn brunet.

The Composer sighed heavily against Neku's lips at the feel of his hand running up his back, a moment of complete bliss washing over him. Goddamnit it he couldn't take it anymore... With absolutely no prior warning, the silver haired boy leaned up to create some breath room between their two already steaming bodies, and none too tactfully snaked both hands down to the hem of his shorts, fingers delicately but quickly working at the button and zipper, fingers tickling the newly exposed skin right above his boxers.

Neku's mind clouded some but he was completely, fully aware of the situation at hand. His right hand remained buried deep into the soft cluster of silver hair as his left slipped down from Joshua's back and onto his hip. His eyes fluttered open and he watched his partner with slight amusement work at his pants. Joshua wasn't over eager...nope not at all.

He snickered breathlessly and closed his eyes once again, just for a moment. A gasp exited his lips at the foreign touch of fingers near his waistline. His grip on Josh's hair increased a bit in result. "You...sure you're...up for this?" he whispered with a small smirk on his lips.

"Mm, I guess the real question is..." Joshua smiled devilishly - the kind of smile that made his subordinates worry every time he flashed it at someone. Slowly his fingers drug the waistband of his boxers down, his palm pressing hotly on his partner's now semi-exposed erection, feeling his own body heat up at the simple touch. "...are _you_? Neku" He purred his name like he usually did when he was being a condescending asshole, but he had a feeling the brunet wouldn't take it personally this time.

Neku was about to answer calmly and curtly but the feel of a warm palm against his body had him closing his eyes tightly for a moment. His body shuddered as he released a soft moan. He cracked open an eye and stared at Joshua. "Shut up and kiss me already," Neku breathed and hooked his finger in one of Joshua's belt loops to pull the boy's body back down, flush, to his own with a groan.

The silver-haired boy let out a small surprised gasp, but regained composure quickly and chuckled softly, pressing his lips to Neku's once more. "Of course, dear." He whispered, but it was obvious Joshua was becoming just a little impatient. He wanted something more... he needed it. With an increasingly louder groan, he ground his hips into the boy's beneath him, feeling Neku's hardened erection against his own, albeit with some bothersome clothing still in the way.

Neku released a surprised moan into the kiss. Sure he had wondered about what doing these things would cause, pleasure-wise, but he never imagined the pleasure to be this outstanding. His hips rolled up against his partner's, desperate for more friction. Though...the damn pants Josh was wearing wasn't the best to rub against... It was a bit scratchy…

With a noise that was half a moan and half a sound of determination, Neku's hand began scrambling to undo the other's pants just as quickly as Joshua had done with his own.

Grinning at Neku's somewhat frantic actions, the Composer took this moment to place a hand over his partners, halting his actions with an amazing amount of restraint. "Slow down, Neku..." He giggled, giving him one last kiss before backing up enough to look the brunet in the eye. "Let me do something for you first..." He smiled, his free hand moving to further pull Neku's boxers down, fingers moving just around his most sensitive area, trying to tease him into submission. Slowly he lowered his head, placing a hot kiss on his partner's lower stomach, tongue flicking out just barely enough to taste the skin there.

Neku cocked a brow in frustrated confusion. What the hell was Josh do-..._Oh_. He groaned a bit, wanting that tongue to go lower and oh god, he couldn't even think anymore. His fingers gave a persistent, gentle tug on the silver hairs, hoping to silently coax the other to go further down and do something.

"G-god Josh...damnit," he cursed, back arching slightly. His sensitive was stomach but he knew, for certain, that elsewhere would be far more sensitive.

Joshua ran his lips down his stomach with a series of warm kisses, fingers slowly moving to touch the base of the brunet's need, his thumb tracing around the length before he wrapped it completely in his hand - and lowered his mouth to encase the tip, tongue running tantalizingly slow down his hardened erection.

Neku released a strangled, almost pained noise but it soon melted into sheer pleasure. He grunted huskily and tangled his hand even further in Joshua's hair, needing more touch and warmth. His back arched once again as he tried to resist the urge to buck his hips into his partner's hand and end the torture right there. But, his resistance only ended up with him trying desperately to get relief, moaning the other's name under his breath with hazy eyes.

Joshua sighed a warm breath onto the very tip, shuddering inwardly at the moan of his name. He absolutely loved that voice... he wanted to hear more of it. He wanted to hear his name again, hear him plead... because by now, the silver haired boy was fairly sure he was past the point of teasing. If Neku wanted it, he would get it. Without a second thought, he slid Neku's member into his mouth, tongue raking across the underside as he sucked, pulling back but never completely letting go. Somehow he was reminded of the cliche he would read in those old dime novels he would find in the bookstores... how the taste of skin suddenly became sweet during the heat of passion. It was partially true - his partner didn't taste bad at all...

" 'Ey Boss, I got a que...s..."

Joshua looked up slowly with initial dread plastered all over his complexion, hand still grasping Neku's erection as Sanae gave the Composer what could only be described as a 'deer in headlights' look. There was a horribly awkward silence before Joshua's dark blue eyes leered at the Producer, giving the man a look of unparalleled annoyance. Any longer and he would be full-on pissed.

Sanae vaguely remembered the last time that happened. A part of Shibuya was actually erased during his rage. A huge shopping center called 'Coolroze'.

Haven't heard of it? Well, there you go.

"_**OUT**_." Was all the Composer could muster, voice practically dripping with venom. Sanae actually felt a chill of fear at the severity in his voice, something he hadn't felt in a long time. He wondered for a moment if he scared Phones shitless doing that as well.

"Yessir." He replied quickly, before stepping back out the door, vowing to wait until one of them decided they wanted to talk. He liked having an afterlife.

Neku, who had sat up slightly when he heard the door open, fell back down against the couch, his back hitting the armrest again. He released an uneasy laugh and groan, still turned on to the point of no return. He resisted grinding into the touch the hand offered _until_ Sanae left them the hell alone. Well, what could he say? He warned Joshua.

"Josh..." Neku begged quietly once they were alone again, his eyes half-lidded with unmatchable pleasure. His breathing was frantic as he strained to thrust his hips into that idle hand. He hadn't been aware, up until this moment, how badly he had wanted this.

It was obvious for a few seconds after, Joshua was still fairly pissed at the interruption. Almost dangerously so. Still, it didn't take long before he finally gave in to Neku's soft pleas, unable to just do nothing for that long at all, seeing as he was still needing this as badly as his partner did. "Ohh? What is it, Neku?" He giggled, once again finding that sadistic tendency spurred on by his brief moment of annoyance. He leaned back down, moving only his thumb across Neku's erection, his lips barely brushing the tip as he spoke, grinning up at the boy. "Do you _want_ something?"

"S-stop your damn teasing..." he gasped, the closest to a beg that Joshua would ever hear from Neku's lips. His orangey brown locks were already beginning to dampen from premature sweat as he tossed his head back some, the simple touch of his partner's lips on his tip driving him nuts. He figured he still needed to address the question at hand, fully, so in a choppy gasp he groaned out, "You," to the best of his abilities, mouth hanging somewhat open in a dazed expression.

"Mm, I suppose that will do." The silver-haired boy chuckled, before once again sliding the entirety of Neku's length into his mouth, this time raking just the very edge of his teeth against the sensitive skin as he pulled back, licking the very tip once he got back to the top.

"Joshua...please..." Neku rasped out, his voice stammering and shaky. Actually, that was the closest to a beg he'd ever get. He was even saying please! How polite Regardless, Neku closed his eyes, unable to stare down at his partner in such a situation without wanting to go overboard and thrust into that warm, perfect, sarcastic, wet mouth of his...

"Josh..." he gasped again, toes curling as he strained not to choke the silveret with thrusts.

The Composer grinned, as much as he could anyway, at the continuous pleas, somehow feeling more accomplished with those simple little words than practically anything else he's done in his Game. He wanted to hear it... he wanted Neku to plea, to beg, to moan, to completely lose himself in pleasure. Slowly he ran his mouth down the brunet's length, licking and sucking in very similar treatment he gave his partner's neck not all that long ago. Though he tried so hard to restrain himself and focus only on making Neku feel good, he could help but move his free hand down to the hem of his own pants, finishing the job Neku started and completely undoing them, his hand grasping at his own erection. He couldn't believe how good it felt, and he wasn't even at the receiving end... yet, anyway.

"Are you close, Neku?" Joshua smirked as he licked the tip again, planting a very wet kiss in the same spot, blue eyes looking up at his partner's euphoric expression with anticipation.

"V-very," he stammered hotly and arched his neck back further with a heavy moan. His eyes slipped shut again and he couldn't help but allow his self conscious to slip away as his moans steadily grew louder, alternating between just simple noises to the Composer's name. His hips lifted and fell, almost in a soundless beat, to the ministrations Joshua's mouth was doing.

It felt so good that he frankly couldn't breathe correctly. His breathing was quick, short, and labored as pleasure stained the area beneath his eyelids. His entire body began to heat and tingle in anticipation of an approaching orgasm. "So... close," he choked out in a whimper.

"Then come," Joshua breathed, sliding the brunet's erection back into his mouth completely, licking and sucking, massaging the underside with his tongue in a slightly more forceful manner than he had before, groaning softly as he continued to work on his own hardened length with his hand. He wasn't going to reach his peak just yet though... no, not like this. He had something much better planned.

Rather suddenly, the hand that held the very base of Neku's manhood began to move vigorously on the area he couldn't quite fit into his mouth, holding his breath as he continued to suck with increasing pressure. Just like this... he wanted Neku to lose himself like this. He wanted to feel the empowerment, the satisfaction of knowing only he could send his proxy over the edge.

And Joshua always got what he wanted.

Neku groaned. Even if he tried thinking about something other than Joshua at that moment, he just couldn't. All he could think about was the beautiful silveret between his legs, doing something that he thought he'd never have the guts to do. Something that he had once thought was extremely...gross. But then again, this was Josh, the boy who could get him pissed or affectionate at random.

"Joshua, Josh... gods, yes!" he moaned as he felt heat coil in his stomach. Without further warning, his orgasm slipped and he arched his back at an insane angle, his hands fleeing from Joshua's hair to grip tightly at the couch beneath him as he moved his head in the throes of pleasure. He rode out the orgasm for as long as he could before shuddering and slumping back down flat against the couch, face a hot red.

The silver-haired Composer groaned just slightly at the intrusive gesture, having to take his other hand out of his pants to steady himself against Neku's writhing hips, the sudden invasion of hot white seed making him gag momentarily, before he swallowed as much as he could on reflex. He certainly wasn't expecting to do that... and whoever said the stuff tasted 'good' had to have been insanely high, but it didn't take that much willpower at all to endure it. This was Neku, after all. He'd do more than this if it meant his partner would feel the unparalleled pleasure he knew he was feeling at the moment.

He waited a few moments until the brunet finally collapsed back onto the couch, panting and sweating like he had just ran a marathon. Slowly Joshua pulled back from Neku's now limping member, wiping idly at his lips as he cleaned the remains of the seed from his mouth. "I take it I wasn't bad?" He chuckled softly, hands gently moving across Neku's exposed stomach as he leaned in, placing a kiss on the brunet's jaw.

"Josh..." Neku whispered in an exhausted, oddly soft voice. His arm, that felt entirely numb, hooked around the cocky boy's body as he tilted his head in response to the kiss. Even if he was still on his orgasm high, he still felt the kiss and it made him shiver the slightest. The very idea of Joshua doing all of this was enough to keep him on his toes and shuddering greatly.

His other hand shakily ran along the side of Joshua's face that he could get to, his trembling fingers tracing the pale skin as he struggled for the right words.

"Mm... I'll take that as a yes." He mused, moving just slightly to place a kiss on his ear, before nibbling the lobe gently. "You know..." He whispered, his smile evident in his voice even though Neku couldn't see it. "I still haven't had _my_ turn."

"Really?" Neku laughed quietly and rolled his eyes inwardly, gasping a bit at the attention given to his ear. "Perhaps we should fix that," he murmured, more so to himself as his soft eyes opened, observing the Composer for a few moments. He offered the smallest of true smiles at him before casually reaching out to touch Joshua's hair again, allowing everything that happened to soak in.

For a moment the normally stone cold Composer all but completely melted at the smile Neku gave him, feeling his heart skip a beat. Great, now he's making him act like some love-struck school girl.

"Neku..." He whispered, leaning in and placing a warm, heartfelt kiss on the brunet's lips, wanting to just simply be lost in this moment with him forever - but of course it didn't last long once Joshua's mind wandered to think about just how corny that really was.

Neku was going to be the end of him. He knew it.

With almost agonizingly slow motions, Joshua traveled his hands back down to the brunet's pants, sliding them down in a less graceful manner than he had initially hoped. Deciding he was just a little too impatient, he hooked the pants on the edge of the heel on his foot, simply kicking them off. Hmm... he could get used to stripping him like this.

Neku grinned some at the kiss and watched Joshua with intense amusement. A thought occurred to him as he watched the silveret.

"You positive you're up for this, Josh? You just did almost die...I don't want you to overexert yourself," he admitted and blushed again. As the orgasm from moments prior wore off, he felt a blush appearing. God. He needed to act calm and not so damn girly and blushy and …_ack_!

"Psh. Like one damn little arrow is going to keep me from you." Joshua smirked, reverting back to his former ego with his reply. "Or perhaps you're scared, Neku?" He purred, blue eyes watching him like he was the unconditional prey.

"I'm not scared," he stated and rolled his eyes promptly. "I don't get scared over things, Joshua. Especially this," he explained and shrugged his shoulders before a grin slipped onto his lips. "Just one question though..." He leaned back some against the couch. "Have you ever done this before?"

"Are you suggesting I'm some heartless playboy?" Joshua faked a gasp, giving him a stare with overdramatically hurt eyes.

"It was just a question," he answered with a small smirk. "So answer before I do suggest that."

He laughed lightly at that, before leaning back up and placing another kiss on his partner's lips. "I died when I was about your age. I hardly had any time to get laid." He smirked at the brunet, but there was an odd tone of sincerity in his voice. "So no, I haven't done this before. The basic concept really doesn't seem all that difficult to understand though... but I can see how it might boggle your brain."

Neku blinked a few times. "I haven't either," he admitted and shrugged. "I know how to do it, so don't go getting your hopes up that I'm brainless. But, if you've never before...why would you want to with--?" he began but was cut short when an annoying beep bounced off his cellphone resting a few feet nearby.

Neku twitched, as if on cue. "...The mission," he stated the obvious.

Joshua let out a groan practically dripping with annoyance, before he reached over to the discarded pants and pulled out Neku's cell from one of the oversized pockets, flipping it open. "Be at the Scramble Crossing in four hours. Fail, and face erasure." He read off the text message with a glare.

Neku sighed and leaned back some. "What a stupid time to send a mission, huh?" he muttered. He hadn't gotten his reason, either. Was he...truly special to Joshua or was this just some game they were playing to keep each other alert and ...well, pleased.

"Damn it, Uzuki... I'm demoting her as soon as this is over." Joshua grumbled, tossing the phone back on top of Neku's shorts, obviously none too pleased. "Give me your hand." He ordered the brunet rather harshly.

"...Sure thing," Neku said hesitantly. Right. Joshua was kind of pissed off now. He offered his hand and eyed Josh, uncertain if he should be scared or not.

He grabbed his partner's hand, staring at it as the timer finally appeared - it was odd how long it took to get there, but he figured the Reapers were having one hell of a time with the Angels right about now. "This is going to hurt." Was all the warning he gave Neku, before he placed his hand over the other boy's and with a crackle of white energy, simply zapped away the timer. The numbers faded away into the form of a liquid similar to blood, before disappearing altogether.

Joshua just didn't mention said act would feel like a bolt of lightning slicing right through your hand. And his angered state didn't exactly dull the effects, either.

Neku threw his head back, wincing in utter pain. "T-t-the hell?" he demanded as his hand trembled some from the onslaught of pain it had been dealt seconds prior. He looked to his partner in confusion and then back down to the hand. Why had he made the timer disappear?

"Told you it would hurt." Was the silver-haired boy's simple reply. Now that he didn't have to worry about that trivial mission, he could finally-

"For god's sake... will you two give it a rest? Phone, put your shorts back on." Sanae groaned as he walked through the door again, slamming down his book on the counter. "I could hear you two from the other room. I'd like to keep my sanity and ask for just one normal moment of your time, Boss."

Joshua sent his Producer a fiery glare, now a little more than pissed. Was everyone out to get him?

Neku jumped up when he heard the voice again. Considering he wasn't' still in the pleasure high, he quickly scrambled to pull his boxers up and snag his shorts, muttering words under his breath as he passed a look to Joshua. He felt a bit bad that the Composer hadn't received a release but he figured he'd be able to repay him sooner or later.

"Sorry," he murmured to Mr. H and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Well, you are teenage boys... at least _you_ are..." Sanae muttered back to Neku, finally putting his cigarette out - only god knows how many he went through just during today's plethora of obstructions. "I oh so hate to interrupt the honeymoon, but I think I found a way to get us out of this mess."

--oo0oo--


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)

and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.  
**  
WARNING**: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.

--oo0oo--

Chapter Four

_Quattuor_

_"Well, you are teenage boys... at least you are..." Sanae muttered back to Neku, finally putting his cigarette out - only god knows how many he went through just during today's plethora of obstructions. "I oh so hate to interrupt the honeymoon, but I think I found a way to get us out of this mess."_

"And you right back into one much more severe..." Joshua seethed, sending the older man another death glare. "What is it?"

"Well, it's only a hunch... but during the time when the Composer breaks a rule, Angels directly ensue in combat against the offending party - Which would technically just be me and you. The way the Angels are able to overpower a Composer is simply this - Reapers can't touch the Angels. The Composer is neither human nor Reaper, and I'm an Angel myself. We're basically the only ones that can touch them. This is their way of making sure we can't turn the tables. "

"And this is good news...how?" Joshua asked in a mocking tone.

"Well, we have Phones. He's not a Reaper, but he's is on a level of higher frequency now that he's dead, so he can attack the Angels as well. I suppose the same could be said for the other Players, 

but... sending them in would be suicide since they neither have the loyalty to you, nor as powerful as an Imagination. The very fact that Phones has played your Game three times has greatly increased his power."

Neku sighed. Sounded like he was being dragged into another little twisted game. He glanced down at his hand, frowning at the lack of a timer. He sighed some and closed his eyes. Was he really going to have to fight angels now? Wouldn't that lower his chances of getting into heaven when he actually did die? He paused and glanced between his partner and Mr. H.

"Where does this leave me when this is all over? When the Angels are done spearing Joshua and you? Do I just become alive again or get erased because I'm impure or something?" he wondered and looked to Joshua rather nostalgically. He was hoping that the silveret would quip back with something along the lines of 'you'd stay with me, of course'.

Something like that...he didn't know why, but it made his cheeks heat. Staying with Joshua in this area between life and death...why didn't that sound so bad?

"Your soul won't become tainted fighting Angels, Phones. They may have certain rule over the properties of death, but even if you're dead, you're still human. Fighting for what you believe in won't hurt you in the slightest. Sure, they'll probably be sore about it for a while, but your soul will be just as bright as ever." Sanae gave Neku a reassuring smile, rubbing the back of his neck in a slightly nervous fashion. "Can't say the same thing for the Boss and I though...There's a good chance we'll get turned into Noise."

"But we won't. We'll bash their vindictive little skulls in, and I'll help Neku throughout the rest of my Game so he can return to his friends in the RG." Joshua sat up, before leaning his back against the couch in a more comfortable position, hands sliding in his pockets. Sanae wondered for just a moment when the boy pulled his pants back up, the very thought wasn't exactly attractive, so he didn't dwell on it. "Simple as that."

"Boss, you certainly are something else..." The Producer groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. There was no way Joshua couldn't comprehend the severity of the situation... why on earth was he so full of himself at such a crucial point?

Neku sighed and ran his hand awkwardly through his hair. Fighting for what he believed in? And what would he be fighting for exactly? His right to live or...what? Or was he fighting to keep Joshua safe? He didn't really find that last option too appealing, but at the same he did. Joshua had always been the one to save his ass, so perhaps it was time to turn the tables and help out the silveret.

"He's right," Neku spoke up and looked to Josh with a grin. "There's no chance you both will fail. If they try to get either of you, well, Josh and I will teach them a lesson," he answered with a smirk and relaxed against the couch with Joshua, tossing the other boy a soft smirk.

Joshua returned the smile with a bit of a laugh, obviously wanting to reply with some sort of witty retort like he always did, but held it back and simply shook his head. Perhaps this was a good thing, after all. He knew Neku hated the thought of being unable to do anything, and that's just the sort of feeling he'd induced upon him in the three agonizing weeks that took place nearly a year ago. Perhaps he owed him at least that much.

Sanae was silent for a moment, staring at the two on the couch, physically closer than they ever dared to be before. "So..." The Producer mused aloud, placing a hand in his pocket, giving his boss an oddly strained look. "Did you rape him to get him to fight for you?"

"I didn't rape him!" Joshua snapped - and like that, the brief moment of understanding he shared with Neku was brought to an abrupt halt. Thanks, Sanae.

"Rape me?!" Neku shouted after a two second pause between Joshua's snappy comeback. His gaze shot over to Sanae with a perplexed look in his eyes. Then again, he had been moaning so damn much and Sanae probably figured that he would never submit to Joshua to begin with, or help him...so rape seemed possible, he supposed.

"If he had raped me I would have gashed his eyes out," Neku went on to say in an angry tone, eyes narrowing at his idol. _' Besides...he couldn't rape me even if he trie- Ah god...I did not just think that about Josh... '_

"Oh, you would, would you?" Joshua's eye twitched, finding that statement both comforting and extremely aggravating. Not that he'd really try to... well, not _now_ anyway. Would he? No, he probably would. Maybe. Goddamn it. Try not to say anything. Try not to make this worse-

"If I had wanted to, I could have done it crippled and blind." He replied with a nasty little smirk. Well, that was smooth.

Neku rolled his eyes. "I'd have broken every limb in your body if you tried to rape me," he muttered, putting much emphasis on the word 'rape'. He glared and folded his arms to his chest stubbornly before peering back over at Josh and mumbling under his breath, "wouldn't have been rape no matter what, anyhow, so drop it."

He turned back to Mr. H and kept up the pissed off and annoyed facade.

Sanae looked at the two boys as they sent halfhearted glares at one another, wondering if he really said something he shouldn't have. "In any case..." He coughed, leaning back against the counter. "Joshua, you should probably return to the River to heal while you still can. I thought the wound you got from the Angel's arrow would have completely dissipated by now, but it appears I didn't get it out as quickly as I thought."

"I'm fine. Taking Neku to the River would be risky, and I'd much rather stay here to make sure he's safe." Joshua replied stubbornly. "How do you even know I'm not completely healed?"

"You didn't get up to punch me in the nose when I walked in."

"...Touche. But I'm still not going."

"And why would it be risky for me?" Neku demanded as he looked back to his partner with a cocked brow. "I can hold my own too, you know. Just because you both are in the business of saving my ass doesn't mean I can't help out once in awhile," he pointed out logically and absently toyed with his hair. He didn't like being the weakest in the room. Ah nope. Nope, nope, nope.

"And besides Josh, you need to heal. Can't have my partner flaking out on me and dying off, now can I?" he questioned and tossed a look back at Joshua, the slightly detectable, soft undertone present.

"There's a good chance Angels could take over the River at any time. I know you can hold your own, Neku," Joshua began, giving him a complicated look that spoke volumes of how he simply wanted to order Neku to do whatever he pleased, but was also wanting to give him the freedom he deserved, and (though he would never admit it) could certainly handle. "But-"

"Jus' let him come, Boss. If you're well enough to argue, it shouldn't take more than a few minutes to patch you up." Sanae spoke, sighing inwardly at how stubborn Joshua was being - even more so than usual. And that's saying a lot. "Phone's isn't some damsel in distress. He's a big boy. C'n take care of himself."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, Josh?" he mumbled under his breath quietly to his partner. "Me as some poor defenseless sap in a dress calling out your name." He got up and shot the other a quick, amused look and turned back to Sanae with a determined look etched all over his face.

"I'm coming whether you want me to or not. Just tell me what I need to look out for and what to do if something bad happens," Neku stated with a determined look, standing idly by the couch on Josh's side.

"Mm perhaps I would... just not in the way you're implying." Joshua smirked and stood up, wincing slightly as he placed a hand to his chest. "Let's hurry and get this over with."

"Yessir." Sanae stepped forward to put an arm around his superior's shoulders to help him walk if he so needed his assistance, but stopped in mid-reach, and instead grabbed the door. He figured if the Composer really needed an arm over his shoulder, he'd prefer Neku's.

Oh god...Now Joshua had installed countless images in Neku's head. The brunet quickly shook these thoughts away and watched Mr. H. Perhaps he knew what ties the boys had now? Neku wasn't certain what was going on between them, because neither really vocalized entirely what the hell they were thinking or feeling other than desire...

But it had been enough. "Don't bitch," Neku warned under his breath with a sigh as he cautiously hooked an arm around the Composer's shoulders as Mr. H had attempted to do. He knew Joshua was prideful...but this was an excuse to touch each other as well. Hrm.

"I can walk on my own." Joshua said firmly, as if boasting - but he didn't make any effort to tear away from the hold Neku had on him. God it hurt his pride to have others see him like this... but at the same time, he wasn't all that opposed if it meant being this close to Neku. He made a mental note to thank Sanae when he would get the chance - right after he punishes him for interrupting them on the couch.

Mr. Hanekoma lead them to a separate room and lead them through a hidden entrance only visible when one scanned the area with a Player Pin (or in Joshua or Sanae's case, probably magic), and down a long hallway that seemed to melt into absolutely nothing; but as the trio walked, light became more and more frequent within the dark walls - before they took one last door into the Room of Reckoning.

"...There was a shortcut?" Neku asked in disbelief. He looked between the boy that he had partially in his arms and then to Sanae with a look of utter disbelief. Joshua and he had gone through a damn sewer...everyone had with him! And this entrance was there all along? He twitched some and said nothing more, his arm instinctively tightening around the Composer's shoulder protectively--but he'd never admit that out loud to anyone.

"More like an emergency back door. The pathway we just took is much more unstable than the other way around." Joshua chuckled, unable to help himself as he caught sight of the look Neku had plastered on his face. "Still, it's safer than wandering out in the open." He pat Neku on the back before letting go, walking over slowly to the center of the room, facing the three pillars with a relaxed sigh. He already felt better being this close to his throne.

As he stepped forward, a white mist clouded his footsteps, before an ethereal light began to wrap around his body, at one point becoming so bright even Sanae had to look away momentarily. Completely encased in the shining ribbons, the light began to die down - and in the place Joshua stood was someone much taller, though still with his distinguishable silver hair, a white shroud covering most of his features. Slowly the figure turned, a hand coming up to once again lay against the wound at his chest. "I shouldn't be long." He spoke - the voice definitely similar to Joshua's, but older and didn't quite have the girlish tone Neku had become accustomed to hearing. "There's no commotion around the River... hopefully we didn't catch anyone's attention." The second time he spoke it became apparent there was a definite echo lacing his words, and an almost melodic tune, something familiar and warm... something that breathed as Shibuya did, changing and flowing together with its spirit.

Neku felt his entire body heat. How could someone as girly and frail and scrawny looking as Joshua be so powerful and transform into that? He stood there, eyes wide as he watched Joshua with confusion. He couldn't help but stare with wide, and rather appreciative eyes. The voice was nice, yes, but no matter how annoying Joshua's true voice was, he found that he preferred it over this one for reasons unknown. Maybe he was just accustomed to Josh's voice.

At any rate, Neku remained a good distance away from the center of the room, not wanting to intrude and needing to sort out his own thoughts before they took control of him. What exactly did Joshua mean to him?

"It's impolite to stare, Neku." Joshua grinned, somehow enough of his features visible to define his smug look. "What? Stunned to see I'm actually not the scrawny little feminine boy you so lovingly point out to me?"

Neku twitched some. "Wasn't staring at you," he mumbled, obviously lying. He averted his gaze and coughed some. God damnit...Joshua always knew how to just sneak into his mind and get the better of him.

"Can't say I blame him, Boss. Didn't really give him any warning." Sanae couldn't help but laugh, stuffing his hands back in his pockets and walking over to an adjacent pillar to where his Composer was standing.

"What? And miss a chance to tease him? You must really not know me that well, Sanae." The ethereal form chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, mock it up, Joshua," Neku murmured and folded his arms to his chest. "Just so you know, you look even girlier like that." But so god damn beautiful and hard to stare at without shuddering. Yeah...about that.

"Mmm, I think Neku doth protest too much." Joshua replied with a giggle, but with his lower voice, it didn't quite sound so girly. He took a step forward, before he blinked out of existence, only to reappear beside the now shorter boy, prodding at his cheek. "Oh, and don't pout it's so unbecoming." He said in a sing-song voice.

"Not pouting. I don't pout. Pouting is for weak people," he murmured and eyed Joshua with a cocked brow. "And you, you can't seem to keep your hands off me," he joked and eyed the finger poking his cheek, debating whether or not to bite it. He decided against it in the end. Didn't want to be Composer-food.

"Mm, can't say I disagree with you there." He grinned, ruffling up his hair a bit in a rather... condescending manner. Ohh, if there was anything he loved about this form, it had to be the little fact that he was much taller than Neku now. "Funny, now that I think about it..." The Composer mused out loud, walking back towards the center of the large room, his footsteps somehow entirely silent, like they weren't really touching anything at all. "You're the only Player to see this room in about... 300 years, would you say Sanae? It was such a long time ago."

"Mm, give or take a decade." The Producer shrugged off his question like it was no big deal. "Technically, Beat and Shiki saw it as well, but they can't remember it." That was such an odd week, really... So may rules were broken in so many ways. At least none of them prompted an army of Angels to come forth.

Neku glanced about the room, peering at the walls and whatnot curiously. It was so large and just...beautiful. He sighed contently and looked back to Joshua with a somewhat smirk on his face. "I'm only seeing it because I'm the Composer's 'favorite'," he hummed and then added on an almost whisper, "…and apparently sexual interest..."

He didn't mind either, but for some reason, he desired more than just those two. Was he becoming greedy?

"Of course," Joshua replied back with a chuckle, turning to sit at the large throne in the center of the three enormous pillars. It was uncertain whether or not he heard the last little bit Neku said to himself. "My unfortunate little toy, but nonetheless my favorite."

Neku stalked up and over to where Joshua was, not wanting to let the boy, in his eyes, out of his sight for too long. "You sound pleased over that fact," he murmured with amusement as he eyed Joshua. "...Is this form supposed to heal you or something?"

"In a way, yes. When I'm not in the RG, keeping a 'Player' form actually takes a little bit of energy to uphold. It doesn't make a huge difference, but when we're in a tight situation like this, anything, no matter how small, helps." He replied in an even tone, smiling just barely once Neku took his place beside him. "Don't worry, I'll change back once I'm done healing."

"When we head back...I want to talk to you about something," he murmured quietly after Joshua's explanation. He coughed afterwards and leaned lazily against the nearest pillar, waiting patiently. His stomach churned though, despite his facade of a calm demeanor.

The silver-haired Composer merely blinked at his quiet reply, watching him as he took a step back to lean against the pillar beside his throne. He only replied with a nod, a little curious as to what his partner had in mind. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, concentrating on the rhythm of Shibuya, trying to detect anything out of the ordinary. Uzuki was still trying to find Neku and him, but it seemed as though she was starting to catch onto something... apparently one of the Reaper's descriptions of them both triggered her memory. Neku was not an easy person to forget, after all that happened during those three weeks.

Kariya was still trying to contact him any way possible... no doubt he learned quickly what the Angels' appearance meant. It was too risky to inform him just yet, though... he'll just have to wait until the time comes.

Explosions were still frequent, causing the UG to shift and rumble much like miniature earthquakes, but thankfully nothing too terribly suspicious has happened in the RG. Once the Angels decide to get serious though, he wasn't sure how that was going to end up.

"Hm. Someone's tried breaking the seal at the entrance to the River." Joshua said after quite some time of silence. "They gave up apparently, but it concerns me someone even tried in the first place."

Neku ran a hand absently through his hair. He wanted to talk to Joshua about so much but he knew he'd be limited in the alone time he got with the Composer. He wanted to talk about what the hell those kisses and favors meant, why Joshua had put his own existence on the line, and why he seemed so different around him. Not too different, but a lot softer in his constant harsh words. He hadn't grown 'soft', Neku knew, but there was a notable difference. Or had that always been there, steadily growing?

He sighed and shook his head. There were more pressing matters right now. Like trying to keep Mr. H and Joshua safe from the 'Angels' . He found the concept hard to believe but here he was, dead, playing a Reapers' Game...so he supposed anything was believable.

"You don't think it was Uzuki, do you?" Sanae asked, glancing over at the Composer with a raised eyebrow. "She could have been trying to find Kariya."

"No, I don't think that's quite Uzuki's style. She'd probably just sit there and bitch for a few days before ever really deciding on something." Joshua mused in an oddly serious tone. It didn't bother him really, he was quite used to seeing the pink-haired Reaper fumble about with a lot of things, though she was surprisingly good at getting things done one way or another. "The Angels may have tried to get in, but didn't sense my presence in here and stopped before getting anywhere."

"Wouldn't surprise me. A lot of them dive head-first into things in the UG, overconfident because so little can harm them here." The Producer shrugged, but continued to stay on guard.

Neku didn't like what he was hearing one bit. His mind was still focused on Joshua and his inner struggle, but he did hear a good bit of what the two were discussing. He had caused a lot of trouble for the pair of them. ...And that was when Neku decided what question he'd ask his partner. He sighed and closed his eyes briefly, allowing the expansive room to swallow him whole in his mind.

Joshua and Sanae continued to talk, if anything to keep the disturbing silence at bay. They knew basically what they were going to have to do... but how, and when, was a completely different story. It'd be great if they could hold their hiding place in Wildkat for a few days to refine any sort of strategy, but even that may not be a possibility.

There was a pause from the both of them as Joshua looked up, blue eyes blinking as if he tried to focus his sight. "Something's coming." He whispered, standing to his feet and grabbing Neku by the wrist, pulling him over to the exit they came through earlier. Sanae didn't ask questions, feeling the same sense of foreboding that seemed to swallow the entire room, running quickly at Joshua's heels.

"It's an Angel. I think they finally found a way in." Sanae whispered back, backing up as he waited for the Composer to retreat first, the white ethereal light that once encased his body fading in a fine mist, before he changed back into his Player form, still holding Neku tightly, as if afraid if he let go, he'd lose him. Thankfully his Producer was able to get them through the doorway and sealed it, leaving them to only hope the Angels couldn't sniff out their trail.

Neku's heart had stopped beating during that moment of confusion. He had noticed the changes in both demeanors even before a word was spoken, even before his wrist was grabbed. He hadn't allowed himself to think, breath, or anything of the sort on that walk that seemed to take forever back to the cafe through the 'secret' pathway. Once he was sealed back in the warmth of Wildkat, he inhaled deeply and brought his free hand to his forehead, trying not to allow the rush of thoughts to cause an implosion.

"Will we be okay?" Neku asked after a moment, tossing a glance over to Joshua. He was a bit relieved that the other was back in his normal form. _'Never thought I'd see the day to say that I was glad to see Joshua's body...'_

"I think so..." Mr. H said quietly, but still watched the door like he was expecting something to force it open at any moment. "We were quick... although now we've lost the Room of Reckoning. No doubt they'll figure out we were there, and keep a sentry posted there."

"No matter," Joshua stepped forward, letting go of Neku's wrist after they finally began to calm down. "I finished healing. Just in time too, from the looks of it."

Neku nodded and looked between the pair with a sigh. "God...and I thought death was enough," he murmured and stared down at his wrist, almost...sad to see the connection go. He inhaled deeply and then glanced back up. "Can I sit down anywhere? That whole thing has my stomach all messed up," he murmured quietly and flexed his hand awkwardly. If the Angels did come...god, he didn't want to see what they'd do.

"Of course, Phones. Let's take a seat up front." Sanae offered, leading them back to the front of the store where he pulled a few chairs out for them.

As they walked, Joshua uncharacteristically watched Neku cautiously, concern in his voice as he finally spoke up. "You scared?" His question was barely a whisper, and no longer harboring any sort of mocking or condescending tone.

Neku looked back to Josh, eyes trained on him for a moment. He debated lying but thought better of it. "Honestly?...Yeah, I am," he murmured and stuck close to the Composer, debating when to bring up what he wanted to talk to him about.

Joshua smiled in reply, but this time, meant no harm from it. "It's okay," He replied softly, his hand sliding over Neku's, fingers intertwining for a few moments. "I'll make sure you get back to the RG."

As quickly as the moment came, it left. Joshua retreated his hand and acted as if it never happened, walking over to join Sanae at a small Victorian-style coffee table. "I think the best we can do now is wait... try and think of something before we rush in." The Producer spoke, leaning back on the small booth that leaned against the wall. "We'll know way ahead of time once they start trying to deactivate the seal around this shop. Might as well think of a strategy."

Neku watched the hand depart, his eyes trained on it as it left. Joshua's words filled his head as he watched the other depart as well, headed over a few feet away. His hand tingled from the brief, affectionate touch. He was still having difficulties accepting that it wasn't teasing or lusty or...anything.

_'And where will that leave you, Josh? Here in the UG, constantly attacked for saving me?...I'll never get to see you, or hear your annoying voice again. ...Maybe I don't want to go, ever thought about asking me?..' _He winced somewhat and took a seat a table away, lost in his own thoughts. He knew nothing about strategies.

--oo0oo--


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17 (In later chapters - as of now, it's only PG-13-ish)  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)

and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.  
**  
WARNING**: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.

--oo0oo--

Carpe Diem  
_Capitulus __quinque_

_'And where will that leave you, Josh? Here in the UG, constantly attacked for saving me?...I'll never get to see you, or hear your annoying voice again. ...Maybe I don't want to go, ever thought about asking me?..' He winced somewhat and took a seat a table away, lost in his own thoughts. He knew nothing about strategies._

The other two continued on without the Brunette, though they did ask for his opinion every now and then - but they were both able to tell Neku wanted to be left alone for the most part. They gave him his space - after all, they still had some time left. It'd be better to wait until he's ready before seriously considering anything dangerous.

It was only about an hour or two before the sun began to set, making Sanae get up and turn on a few lights at the front of the store before it got too terribly dark. "Hey, Phones." The Producer walked over to the boy who still seemed lost in thought, patting him on the back. "It's gettin' late... why don't you take a rest? Would probably do you some good."

"Yeah...back room all right?" he questioned and got to his feet, looking tired, exhausted, and pensive. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the way Joshua had looked at him only hours before and the first time he had kissed him. God damnit, it was gentle and something a lover would do and... he needed to stop thinking before he threw his hands up in utter confusion. Sure, he was attracted to Joshua, that he knew for certain, and he deduced Joshua was attracted to him, but that was the thing. 

Was it just attraction for Josh? No strings attached?

"There's a bed upstairs, in my room. You can use that if you like - Joshua and I will stay here for a while, hold down the fort." Sanae motioned to the stairs just to the right of the hall.

"You sure that's all right?" Neku wondered and tilted his head slightly. "I don't want to intrude or anything," he admitted and walked over to the stairs, glancing up. "There's not a plethora of rooms up there, right? I don't want to walk into the wrong room or something."

"Nah, just two. Other one's the bathroom - I don't think you'll get too confused." Mr. H chuckled, sitting back down at the booth, Joshua concentrating reading whatever book he had in his hand. "It's no trouble at all. I'll take the couch, and-" He stopped himself, looking a little torn for just a moment. "On second thought, I'll sleep here on the booth. Josh can have the couch." Considering what went on there earlier today, he wasn't sure he even wanted to sit on it anymore.

Neku couldn't help but snicker some. "Are you positive?...I can take something other than the bed," he murmured and shrugged his shoulders absently, looking between Josh, who wasn't paying attention to him, and Mr. H.

"Don't worry about it. You need the rest more so than either of us. We're fine." The cafe owner waved a hand, completely sincere.

"Fine..." Neku nodded. "Goodnight," he called quietly and headed upstairs. He found the bedroom with ease and walked in, absently glancing around the quaint room. Nothing too special or bland. Just what he had expected from Mr. H. He sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down before convincing himself to lay down. He knew he'd be up for awhile.

The moon finally began to rise only about an hour later, though the streets of Shibuya didn't exactly quite down - if anything, the shuffling of feet and constant chattering became louder now that there was less traffic, teens and young adults wandering around, experiencing the Shibuya night life.

Joshua and Mr. H were fairly quiet down stairs, although a couple of times there was a clattering or two, and at one point, the sound of a chair beings knocked over, for whatever reason. Because the room Neku was staying in was so quiet, every other noise around him seemed amplified, adding to the already problematic issue of catching any sleep.

Neku couldn't sleep even if he wanted to. T he noises continued to plague him, making him wonder if something was happening, if it even would. The Angels were after him and Joshua, right? Him because he was supposed to be taken by them and Joshua because he had broken the rules. The brunet groaned some quietly under his breath and rolled on his side, staring at the wall and small window. He couldn't see outside due to the curtains pulled, and perhaps that was a good thing.

His body remained stiff as he laid there, his restless mind not letting him sleep. All of this could have been avoided if he hadn't been so careless...but then again... 'Maybe I kinda did want this to 

happen...'

Long minutes passed by, the constant sounds of Shibuya echoing quietly in the bedroom walls. Slowly, a hand reached out to brush a few brown strands of hair out of the boy's eyes, a soft, familiar voice whispering quietly. "You seem troubled." Joshua spoke, somehow making it upstairs and through the door so quietly it was almost ghost-like. He even took a seat next to the resting boy on the bed beside him without causing Neku to stir. "Can't sleep?"

Neku didn't jump up or holler in surprise all because of the softness and familiarity of the voice. His eyes remained shut. "How am I supposed to in a place like this?" he murmured quietly and visibly relaxed the slightest, his eyes cracking open some to eye the silveret beside him.

"Is the bed really that uncomfortable? Sanae sleeps in it every night, and I don't see him with a walking bout of insomnia." Joshua smirked slightly, fingers still lingering at the very side of the brunet's face, idly playing with his hair in a very gentle manner.

"Not used to it, I suppose," Neku explained in a quiet murmur. "Plus, anxiety is keeping me awake," he admitted and flicked his gaze to the right to watch the nimble fingers. "You staying long?" he wondered, hoping to hide the hopefulness in his voice.

The silver-haired Composer chuckled slightly. "Sanae dozed off downstairs after we were done figuring out what we could..." He nodded faintly, giving his partner a smile. "So yes, I supposed I could stay a while."

Neku closed his eyes and shifted some on the bed. "Lay down, I'm sure it's a lot more comfortable than the couch," he offered and rolled onto his other side so he could watch the Composer.

"Oh my, Neku" Joshua giggled, bringing a hand up to his mouth as he mockingly acted as if he was astounded Neku would even consider such a thing. "Are you hitting on me again? Remember what happened the last time you did that..." He purred, leaning forward and placing both hands on the covers at either side of Neku's chest, grinning down at the boy mischievously.

Neku gulped and averted his gaze as a small blush formed on his cheeks. "Very funny, Josh," he mumbled and attempted to control his breathing. A thought clicked in his mind as he lay there awkwardly. "...I wanted to talk to you about something, actually..."

"Hmm?" Joshua blinked, halfway surprised that the brunet didn't give in to his seduction technique. He must be out of practice. "What is it?"

So many questions...god damnit he had so many that he wanted to ask and the only thing that managed to escape his confused was, "What is going on, Josh?" His voice trailed off as he spared a glance up at the Composer.

Joshua couldn't help but give him a baffled stare, for once, totally and completely lost. That doesn't happen often. "What do you mean, 'what's going on'? I thought I explained all this to you before."

"No, not _this_," Neku mumbled and made a gesture to all around them. He cleared his throat and instead raised an uncertain hand to rest in Joshua's hair. "I meant..." He had difficulties with the pronoun... "Us."

Almost like a child, the fair haired Composer simply stared at Neku for some time, blinking as his facial expressions changed every few seconds, trying to comprehend what exactly was the truth, and what his partner wanted to hear. "Us...?" He finally spoke up, trying to cover up his nervous state by playing dumb.

"Us," he repeated and absently brushed his fingers along Joshua's jaw, unable to hide the trembling in his fingers. "This," he went on to explain vaguely, eyes not entirely focusing on the Composer in fear of him getting upset or tossing him aside entirely.

Joshua watched him with a careful gaze, unsure of how to react from all this. He supposed it was normal for him to question the sort of thing going on between them, but he also expected Neku to just accept it without a second thought. "What do _you_ think this is?" He asked quietly.

Neku bit his bottom lip, trying his best to remain calm and think of a legit answer. He closed his eyes and pondered for a second. He didn't want to come out and say because--although he would never admit that either--he was afraid of being rejected by what seemed to be the only person who had accepted him as a person.

"...I can't think anything if you don't tell me," Neku decided, eyes wandering up to him. "You're the one that started it," he pointed out quietly with a shrug, trying to hide his nerves.

Joshua relaxed a bit, shifting his weight onto one arm, one leg partially hanging off the bed. "Well..." The silver-haired boy began, his gaze shifting away momentarily, smiling softly, but was nowhere near as comfortable as he looked. "I wasn't just using you to rid myself of sexual frustration, if that's what you're worried about."

Neku watched Joshua, obviously confused by his words. If that hadn't been it, as he had earlier perceived, then what? He bit his lip and couldn't help the next question that came pouring out of his lips. "What do I mean to you, Josh?" He inwardly regretted asking the blunt question but figured it _may_ answer more than just one question.

At first it seemed he caught the Composer off guard, his eyes widening for a few moments, before he just barely relaxed again, coming to terms with the fact that he, Joshua Kiriyu, had had been backed into a corner.

"You, Neku..." He began with a soft smile, reaching up to gently brush his fingers against his cheek, gazing at him rather fondly. "Are my proxy - my toy, my trump card in the Reaper's Game... but I've found that you're also a brave warrior and a wonderful friend. I found myself regretting letting you go when you lost to me, for my own selfish reasons..." A soft chuckle. "I missed you dearly, and I am happy beyond words to simply have you by my side again."

Friendship. That was what Joshua was talking about. Neku doubted in his mind that Joshua had ever had a friend before, so perhaps these warm and seemingly affectionate touches were what friends did--they helped each other and comforted them. The idea relaxed Neku, eased his restless mind, but at the same time crushed a part of him that yearned for more. He sat there for a moment, eying Joshua with that part of him that desired more. And as he sat there, that part become more prominent in his mind. True, he had wanted Joshua to be a friend, someone he could trust and laugh with and smile at but...

It was a hard concept to grasp that he just wanted more. God, he was being so selfish. "I'm glad," Neku decided in a quiet whisper, praying that his words wouldn't betray him and demonstrate his shuddering yearn for something more from his friend.

Although he should have rejoiced at his partner's warm reply, Joshua couldn't help but find something in his voice he was ... both afraid, and hoping to hear. Was the disappointment in his voice from him overstepping a boundary, or because he didn't go far enough...?

What was that one girl... Shiki? At a time like this, he imagined she'd say something along the lines of, 'follow your heart' - or something equally as corny. He didn't have much to lose at this point, anyway.

Slowly the Composer leaned down, cupping the brunet's cheek and kissed him softly, allowing himself to pour his emotions into his actions, for the first time in his afterlife. "Neku," He breathed, eyes closing as he willed himself not to look in the boy's eyes, afraid of how he might react. "_I love you_."

If those three words had come from anyone else, or any time else Neku would have regarded them with a simple scoff and a 'no'. He would have cast aside the emotions and labeled them as false and deceiving. He had never gotten close enough to a person to love so therefore he knew in his heart that it was impossible for someone to love him.

But Joshua had risked his own being, all of Shibuya, just to give him another chance in the RG. And his reasons made sense to him now. Joshua loved him. Loved everything, he assumed. The bickering, the teasing, the smirks, the giggles he tossed him, because Josh knew deep down, more than likely, that nothing he could do in a teasing manner would ever truly hurt the brunet.

The kiss rendered him speechless almost as much as the words had. His body trembled and he grabbed hold of the hand that held his cheek. His fingers curled around the wrist, forcefully holding the hand in place. His heart beat erratically and he found it suddenly hard to do anything but breathe and hold that wrist.

Unable to speak, Neku instead dropped his hold on the wrist and slung his arms tightly around the Composer's frail player-body, pulling him close against him as he hid his face, body raking with a sudden onslaught of emotion. He didn't know how to do this. Joshua had made the confession seem so simple, so pure...and Neku was afraid of screwing it up.

His fingers clenched at the fabric on the back of the Composer's shirt as he held him close, unable to let him go, speak, or initiate anything romantically affectionate.

But god, he hoped this was enough for this brief moment in time. He didn't want to lose this. "Josh..." he breathed out at last, the name being all he could say.

Joshua had been startled at first by the lack of reaction, but he let all sense of worry go once he felt Neku's arms wrap around him, breathing out a purely content sigh. He... hadn't been rejected. He was welcomed. Slowly he returned the gesture and snuck his arms around the brunet's back, holding him just as tightly as he buried his face in the crook of the boy's neck. "I'll do anything to protect you... to make sure you're happy." He whispered softly, affectionately running his fingers through those soft orange locks. "I know I'm usually a stuck-up ass... but I love you, Neku. So much... and I want you to know I'll be here for you, no matter how this turns out. I'll find a way."

Neku felt the words sting at his heart and eyes, causing tears to form in his eyes for no reason. He wasn't sad nor was he upset. Perhaps it was because of the soft words and the honesty behind him, or the overwhelming amount of emotions and relief. His breath hitched against his own accord and he kept his arms, trembling and all, tightly woven around Joshua's body.

When he finally found his voice, a mixture of a whimper and a whisper, he managed, "I don't want to leave you..." He wanted to be alive but he didn't want to go back to living his life with just his friends. He was beginning to adore this attention and daresay love and just... He choked on his next sentence, "I need you with me.

Joshua leaned back to give him a melancholy smile. "You don't belong here," His words were oddly harsh, but he laced them with such sincerity and concern, it was almost overshadowed. "You belong in the RG - with your friends, and your family. The Game doesn't suit you." He leaned in to place one more chaste kiss upon Neku's lips. "But... I suppose it's in my power to visit every now and then? I'm only busy every couple of weeks, after all."

"Joshua..." His fingers ended up tangling back into the other's hair, eyes illuminated by the dim glowing of the moon outside and the lights of Shibuya that seemed to be on all the time, only shielded slightly by the thin curtain. His breathing was quiet, and yet intense, as his fingers loosely clung to the silver strands.

"You risked your entire life...your job and everything to save me, Josh... I want..." He paused, as if debating whether or not to shut up and be quiet before he exposed any more truths. But he continued on. "...I want to be with you," he finished and averted his gaze, voice trailing off into the quietness.

The silver-haired Composer sighed, doing his best to keep a smile going. In a way, this was very bittersweet...he wanted Neku to stay by his side as well, but the psychological strain of staying in the UG, in his Game, would be too much for a kind person like Neku. "So... you intend to stay dead, and never be able to talk to your friends and family ever again?" He whispered quietly, taking no time in sugar-coating his question. "You would be able to see them, but they wouldn't see you. Do you honestly think you could deal with that? You wouldn't be able to leave Shibuya... you would see the Game being played over and over again - Players being tested, watching them struggle with unbearable pain until they they're 

erased..." He paused, debating whether or not to tell his partner this. "You would see another side of me that I do not want you to see."

Neku allowed the words to filter into his mind. He allowed his mind to sift through the positive and the negative, the good and the bad. He remained silent for a long moment. He had made a promise to spend time with his friends, even after the game. Help them out. Take care of them as they did to him in that friendly manner. Yet here was Joshua, with no one to take care of him apart from the stern and meaningful words of Mr. H.

"...I'll go back to the RG," he decided and allowed his gaze to wander off. "But I don't care about your other side. Isn't it true that to truly love someone you have to know every side of them? Embrace every side?" he mused and glanced back at his partner, words lingering on his lips. "But if you want me to stay, if you want me to stay, then say so, damnit...because I will. I will if you want me to..." He fought off the stinging tears. _'Because a part of me doesn't want to go...and all it's looking for is a reason, Josh_'.

Joshua closed his eyes, obviously having inner conflict as well. "Neku..." He whispered, completely torn in two. He wanted so desperately to believe it would be okay to have his partner here, but in reality...it would be so much more complicated. He was being selfish - he was the one who didn't want Neku here. He was the one who didn't want him to endure the sight of the Game. He was the one who didn't want to have to show his true colors to the one he held most dear. Was that... was that really fair?

Slowly the Composer intertwined his fingers with Neku's, holding his hand tightly. "Of _course_ I want you to." He shook his head, making no effort to hide the pain in his expression. "I want you to stay here and never leave my side again. But Neku... at the same time... I don't want to put you through the pain, either. I can visit you in the RG as many times as you want me to... it would just... be a little like a long-distance relationship. I won't be there 24/7, but I'll do my best to see you at least once every day."

Neku pondered that for a moment. He knew seeing Joshua constantly, twenty four seven may be bad for his health, and it wasn't fair to his friends not to see them sometimes... "Every day?" he repeated, as if to clarify, and looked to Joshua rather meaningfully. If it wasn't at least for a bit every day then he would just suffer through the UG to stay here.

He took a deep breath then.

The silver-haired boy opened his mouth to reply, but paused for a moment, giving Neku a solemn, but sincere look. "I can't promise I will, without a doubt, see you every single day. There may be times the UG needs my guidance... but I can promise you I will do my best to try. After all, nothing can keep me from you for too long." He sealed his words with another kiss, gripping his hand once more in an affectionate manner. "I'm omnipotent. I'm sure I could do something to allow you to visit me from time to time as well. Without the dying part." He gave his partner a smug grin.

Neku grinned. "If I go longer than a week without seeing you, I will go down to Wildkat and force Mr. H to somehow get me to see you," he snickered and sighed after a moment, eyes shutting at the pleasantness of all the touches. "This...could work. I mean, I'd still have time to see my friends, but then I'd also have time to see you," he mused and slowly interlaced their fingers again. "I mean, I'm not that dependent," he joked and lightly tilted his head up to initiate his own chaste kiss, wanting to kiss that 

smug little grin right off Joshua's face.

The Composer chuckled wholeheartedly, leaning down so that their noses barely touched in something reminiscent of a nuzzle. "Mm, perhaps I am." He replied, only partially joking. "I may end up coming to see you at inconvenient times. Perhaps while you're changing in the boys' locker room at school... not that something like that would be inconvenient for _me_." He laughed, leaning down to plant a few kisses along the boy's neck. "Or while you're taking a shower... mm... I kind of like this idea."

Neku couldn't help but release a soft moan at those words and kisses. "To which I'll...politely shove you out of my shower," he whispered and flushed a dark red, trying not to think up the images. But the kisses were distracting him and he couldn't help but utter out a simple, breathless, "Josh.."

"I don't think..." He breathed, only pausing his words every now and then to plant more kisses, this time moving down his shoulder. "That you would want to...start a fight with me... even in the RG, Neku" He grinned inwardly. "You wouldn't win."

"Y-yeah...I would...," he muttered stubbornly and arched his neck, eyes shutting to half-mast as pleasant tingles raced down his back, down to his toes to which he curled. "You just...want to see me naked and wet," he argued his point and gasped a bit at a particularly sensitive spot that had been kissed.

"Mm, can't argue there..." The Composer admitted a little too eagerly, his free hand snaking downwards to tickle the brunet's skin just under the hem of his shirt. "That's quite the image... I should store that in my memory for later use."

Neku rolled his eyes. "P-pervert," he mumbled with really no objections, his back arching slightly at the touch. He blinked some. "You know...he'll kill us if we do anything in his bed," he noted as he tangled his hand back into Joshua's hair.

"Let him. I'm not moving." Joshua mumbled, his kissing trailing down towards his partner's collarbone, before he deducted the oversized collar of his shirt made things a little too difficult. Without any sort of warning, he pulled the blue and black top up, nearly taking it off all the way had it not been for Neku's arms still being down. "_Off_." Was all he could muster. He never had a way with words while he was lusting, he supposed.

Neku smirked some and lifted his arms, removing the rest of the shirt. "Going for...completely naked this time, Josh?" he teased with a small smirk, his own hand beginning to undo the buttons on the shirt that Joshua wore. He was actually insanely excited to see him shirtless...what a pervert himself.

"Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way." Joshua grinned, helping Neku undo his own shirt, before he tossed the light blue fabric aside in the same fashion as he did with the brunet's top. He drank in the sight before him - Neku, shirtless, lightly panting and slightly flushed, laying sprawled out beneath him.

He almost came just looking at him.

"You look so damn good, it should be a sin." The Composer chuckled, leaning down to place a wet kiss at the center of the boy's chest.

Despite hoe he wanted to remain smug himself and whatnot, he couldn't help but lightly pant and gasp quickly at the kiss. "You don't look too bad yourself," he admitted and allowed his hand to leave Joshua's hair and venture down onto his exposed back, tracing ambiguous patterns onto the flesh. A smirk appeared on his lips before he nonchalantly wrapped that wandering arm around Joshua's waist and experimentally lifted his hips to Josh's.

Joshua gasped at the intense pleasure the simple touch brought, eagerly grinding his hips back down to meet Neku's. "I already...know that..." He laughed, though parts of his words bled into more of a moan. The Composer continued to rock his hips against the brunet's, each rhythmic thrust getting gradually harder and longer, his breath becoming quicker and heavier. A little nudge from the back of his mind told him he wanted more than just this - he wanted to feel Neku, skin on skin; but at the moment, something as simple this was doing a damn good job as far as he was concerned.

"Josh..." Neku breathed out the other's name as if it were some prayer or whatnot. His eyes remained half closed, half opened, as he laid beneath the older, rotating his hips up into the older's. His usually defiant blue eyes were hazed over with lust and apparent affection. A hand reached back up into the silveret's hair, tangling once more with the soft strands of hair he had always envied.

"So good..." he moaned, barely coherently, as he arched his hips up more.

Joshua's words weren't any more coherent, practically being drowned in his groans of pleasure. "Neku..." His hands roamed south, slowing the grinding down until he could unsnap the button of Neku's baggy shorts. "Let me have you..." He whispered, his lips barely touching the boy's beneath him before giving him a deep, passionate kiss. "I want you...so bad, Neku..."

"Then have me," he whispered back, hands exploring down Joshua's back again greedily. His shyness was rubbing off a bit and he became a bit more desperate, needy, curious. His daring hands roamed down the clothed backside of his partner, down his legs as far as his reach would allow, and then back up onto the bare skin.

His words were all he needed to erase any hint of hesitation from his mind, before he hastily undid his own pants and kicked them off almost clumsily towards the end of the bed, leaving him naked - save for a pair of dark blue boxers. He tried to hush the constant moans Neku was eliciting with his wandering hands, but was fairly unsuccessful with his efforts. Without missing a beat, he reached back to Neku's shorts and finished undoing those, before trying to practically rip them off his legs.

He wasn't the least bit impatient.

Neku rolled his eyes at how impatient Joshua was being. He wasn't eager to lose his virginty at all. Nope. Joshua was probably disdainful about the whole process and-- oh who was he kidding? Certainly not Neku. The brunet knew Joshua wanted this so badly. So much that Neku couldn't even fathom the amount.

His legs shifted as he assisted Joshua in the removal of his pants. "You're not eager at all, are you?" teased Neku.

"I wanted to screw your brains out before Sanae so _kindly_ interrupted us before." Joshua grumbled, leaning up and nipping at Neku's ear as his hand wandered over the soft fabric of the boy's boxers, rubbing his palm against his heated member. "Not to mention that damned mission...fucking world was out to get me..."

Neku smirked and moaned some at the touch, trying his best to stay remotely quiet. God...why the hell was Joshua so good at this? "P-probably really piss you off if Mr. H interrupted us again if he heard," he teased breathlessly and leaned his head back, gasping some.

"He'll wish he hadn't," Joshua replied, his breath heavy and voice dripping with annoyance simply at the thought of it. Neku has yet to see him truly pissed - it's not a pretty sight. He didn't want the brunet to have to endure something as horrific as that.

Realizing he could no longer simply pleasure Neku without receiving anything himself, the silver-haired boy none too gently pried the boy out of his boxers, leaving him no time to feel embarrassed or shy about being completely naked in the Composer's hungry eyes.

"We'll just...be extra careful," Neku decided in a murmur and averted his gaze at his partner's over eagerness. His hand absently trailed down Joshua's exposed back and to the waistband on the back of the Composer's boxers. His fingers tugged gingerly on the material, deciding it'd be easier that way.

Despite his increasingly growing need, Joshua found the patience to let Neku slide the unwanted fabric off on his own, kicking it off one foot. Without hesitation, he returned his attention to the brunet beneath him, leaning forward to nip and lick at the boy's collarbone before grinding their hips together once more with an even louder groan - this time without any barriers, tantalizingly hot skin against skin.

Neku's head at once tossed backward on an impulse. He let out a deep moan at the touch, his breath hitching afterwards. He panted weakly and moved his hips back up against Joshua's, the pleasure shooting from his groin to his stomach and legs. He awkwardly hooked both of his rather skinny legs around Joshua's waist, wanting to touch more skin and bring their hips together harder. He wasn't addicted to this at all...

Joshua wasn't that far from the same stupor Neku was already lost in, all other sound and music he usually heard from the ever-changing spirit and life of Shibuya being completely drowned out by pleasure and lust, only able to hear his own labored breathing and Neku's constant moans. "Neku..." He half whispered, voice reverting to almost a whimper as he tried to breath, muscles tensing as he rocked back against the brunet's hips, losing himself in the raw euphoria the contact brought, his own hardened length pressing against his partner's desperately. "I-I want..." He choked, taking in a breath and deciding he couldn't trust his own voice anymore. He slowed his hips just enough before he once again ceased the contact, snaking an arm under one of his legs and prying him open, completely exposed. Shakily, he positioned himself at Neku's entrance, leaning forward and breathing beside the boy's ear as he spoke 

again, voice drowning in the evident lust they both shared. "_I want to make you mine_..."

Neku would never admit to saying these words or phrase after this night. He didn't view himself as an object but... "I want to be yours," he whispered out breathlessly as he gripped onto Joshua's hip for support. His eyes opened some as he stared at the silveret with a forced, half smile. It wasn't that he wasn't happy, he was ecstatic, but simple things like smiling were suddenly extremely difficult. His fingers shakily squeezed the other's hip before murmuring. "Well...w-what are you waiting for?" he questioned, trying not to seem like a complete pile of whimpering mush.

Joshua could barely stand it - crushing his lips to Neku's passionately, he stilled himself before all at once, thrusting hard inside him, gripping at either side of the brunet's legs as he paused, knowing well that even through the pleasure, a surge of sharp pain was about to overcome the boy. It almost hurt himself, having to stay still, so desperately wanting to take him with all his strength, wanting to feel him from the inside out... but he steeled his will, and waited.

Neku returned the kiss with as much vigor. He fought off the stinging sensation in his eyes at the intrusion. He blinked away the pain into the kiss, knowing that his now lover wouldn't be all that patient. He continued the kiss at any rate, allowing his body to adjust as he kept his mind off it. After a few moments, the pain dulled to something tolerable and he curiously moved his hips in the general direction of Joshua's, a low moan escaping him as one of his hands gripped at the sheets beneath him, the other on the silveret's hip.

That was all it took to snap Joshua out of his frozen state - almost immediately he pushed farther in, meeting Neku's hips with his own as he buried himself completely inside his partner. "G-god..._Neku_..." The Composer breathed out in broken words, voice shaking as he moved one hand hesitantly away from the leg he held up, over to the sheets beside Neku's torso, trying to balance himself. Slowly he began to pull out, his head tilting back in a guttural moan the moment he thrust harshly back in, grinding slowly before repeating the process.

The pain randomly sparked and then went away with the thrusts, but soon the pleasure engulfed him entirely, causing the brunet to whimper helplessly and wrap his arms tightly around Joshua's moving body. He arched his hips slightly, only before his mind went blank and a large sensation sparked through his body, making every single cell light up with pleasure. He shuddered in response. "_There_," he rasped as he desperately moved his hips to get Joshua to hit that spot again. "Oh god, Josh..._please_," he nearly begged as he dug his nails into the Composer's back absently.

The moment Neku whimpered 'please', Joshua's egocentric self half wanted to make him beg more... but he could hardly stand to make himself slow, much less stop altogether; so instead he decided to put that little memory away for later use. With another unbidden moan, he pulled out, and slammed back in, hoping to hit that same sweet spot he had before, just about to go over the edge - and he'll be damned if he did before he gave Neku the chance. He was so tight... so hot and welcoming... he had to bite his lip to stop himself from coming already a few times now.

"My name..." He whispered, or at least tried to with his panting making it more and more difficult, his lips barely touching Neku's ear. "_I want to hear you scream my name_..."

Neku would have screamed Joshua's true name but his mind was far too foggy to even remember it considering Josh had only told him when they first met. So, Neku decided to just keep 

repeating Joshua's name hotly under his breath, nails digging at the skin as he tried his hardest to build up that heat in his body and pleasure and oh god, Joshua was just teasing the fuck out of him.

But when Joshua did hit that sweet spot again on his thrust in, and after that demand from his partner, he was way ahead of him. By the time the word 'name' had been spoken he let out a moan and then a hollered version of the boy's name, hips thrusting madly into Joshua's. He was so close...so damn close and he didn't care how much he was begging and pleading right now.

Joshua couldn't help it - once he heard Neku cry his name, something in his mind snapped, and he thrust deeper inside the boy than he ever had before, light flashing around his form momentarily as he didn't even have the mental capacity to maintain his RG form for a split moment, and released himself, coming deep inside Neku's body.

Neku released a few moments later, nails drilling themselves into Joshua's back as he threw his body into the other's last thrust, panting wildly as he rode out his orgasm, his body soon after numbing as he slumped back against the bed, cheeks enflamed and mouth parted weakly. He sucked in shaky breaths and struggled to keep his eyes open.

After a few moments of continuously slowing, shallow thrusts, Joshua finally came to a halt, panting harshly as he kept himself barely propped above the younger teen. He smiled, gently allowing his forehead to rest upon Neku's, feeling the heat of their bodies mix in a somehow comforting effect. God... that had to have been the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. He vaguely wondered to himself, if he thought Neku would be able to do this every night, if not a few times in a row...

Meanwhile, downstairs, Sanae couldn't help but awake with a start the second Neku screamed Joshua's name, nearly falling off the couch as he momentarily thought that something was wrong. It only took him a few seconds though, to reposition himself and attempt to go back to sleep, only one thing on his mind.

_God-fucking-damnit. Not on my bed. I'm going to kill both of them._

"Well...that was..." Neku attempted to speak but failed horribly. He lifted his fingers off Joshua's back and idly inspected them. Damn...he had scratched the surface badly, huh? He sighed and mentally praised himself for marking his lover. He wasn't sadistic, no not at all. After a moment, though, he decided to speak again, enjoying how close Joshua's face was to his own. "So damn good..." he decided and shut his eyes briefly.

"Biggest understatement of my life." Joshua replied with a weak laugh, finally allowing himself to roll of Neku and relax against the cool sheets, breathing out contently. After a moment, he leaned over to rest his head against his love's shoulder, completely spent but more than ready to stay awake just a while longer if only to feel the boy's presence beside him. "Not bad for a first time."

"Don't deny it, you loved it," Neku chuckled quietly, entirely spent and exhausted. He shifted some and rested his chin comfortably against Joshua's head, enjoying their close proximity after sex. He inhaled the other's scent, the aroma still being strong over the stench of sweat and sex that he 

surprisingly didn't mind much and-- "Thought you hated to sweat, though." Small, tired smirk.

"I don't mind a few exceptions." The silver-haired boy smirked, closing his eyes. "Anything to get you begging and screaming my name, sweetheart."

Neku felt his cheeks blush faintly at that. "Again with the nicknames?" he whispered and brought his lips absentmindedly down to kiss the top of Joshua's head.

"Mm, I'm sure I've still got more." The Composer giggled, somehow not minding that he was in a submissive position for once in his life. "Wouldn't mind you giving me a few... how about _'Master'_?" Well, perhaps his over-inflated ego wasn't that easy to get rid of. "Sounds kinky. I like it."

"Not calling you 'Master'," Neku refuted with an amused snort of laughter. "I may bottom for you, dear, but I'm not calling you Master," he pointed out, mocking Joshua's voice at the 'dear' part.

"Mm, alright, I suppose I can deal with that if you make up for it in the begging department." He grinned and leaned up, returning the teen's earlier kiss with one of his own - in a way, silently saying, 'I tease because I love'. Which was something he would never admit in words. "Another one of your '_please, Joshua' _ought to get me going."

Neku rolled his eyes. "Well, you were pretty loud yourself, Joshua," he teased and kept his arms tightly around Josh, sighing in utter content at the perfection of the moment. His head fell slightly, resting his forehead to Joshua's head before murmuring, "Doesn't matter, though." His voice decreased in volume. "I love you, Josh."

The Composer's arm slid over his side, returning the affectionate gesture as he closed his eyes. "And I you, Neku." He finally allowed himself to completely relax, the steady rhythmic beat of his partner's breathing lulling him to sleep. "More than you can imagine..."

--oo0oo--


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Carpe Diem  
**Pairing**: Joshua x Neku  
**Rating:** NC - 17  
**Summary:** After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.  
**Comments**: Joint 'fic between Caitlin (Katra on , feverishlove on LJ) and myself.

--oo0oo--

Carpe Diem  
_Capitulus Sex_

Thankfully sleep came much easier for the young orange-haired teen after the events of the night, as surprisingly enough, Joshua even got a decent night's rest - something he hasn't been able to indulge in for many, many years. He felt oddly content, holding onto his little proxy as he finally closed his eyes and embraced sleep. They stayed that way all night, simply laying in each other's warm embrace -

"Oh for fuck's sake - YOU GUYS ARE _NAKED_!" Sanae's horrified voice nearly shook the building as the Producer opened the door - having expected something to be amiss to begin with, but it seemed that he underestimated his Boss greatly.

Joshua just glared at him and threw his pillow at the older man.

Neku's eyes fluttered openly rapidly at the scream. He sat up and held his head, cursing at how sore his body was. "Something wrong?" he murmured as he rubbed his head. He had a slight head ache and Mr. H's hollering wasn't making it any better. And...

Before either had time to answer Neku pulled a sheet absently over his body and allowed the situation to sink in. Yup, they were pretty much screwed.

Sanae caught the pillow shot at him, but he was still treading on thin ice - although, he wanted Joshua to know he was, too. God, was there nothing sacred anymore? "My sheets better be clean by tonight - and I ain't touchin' em."

"Oh? Are you suggesting I do your laundry?" Joshua scowled.

"_YES_."

Oh well. Time to change the subject. "I'm going to get dressed." He began pulling the covers off his body, waiting for the -

"Fine. _I'm leaving_." Sanae turned the other way, but not without glaring at the silver-haired Composer. In some sort of miracle, he liked his Boss - but he didn't care to see as much as he figured Neku saw the night before.

Neku sighed and glanced between the two. "You guys have an odd friendship," he muttered to himself and absently toyed with a spike of his hair before watching Mr. Hanekoma leave the room.

When he finally did, the orangey brunet turned to Joshua with a small smirk. "Think he's mad?" he asked sarcastically, stretching some on the bed.

"He's pissed." Joshua snirked. "But he knows better than to get too mad at me." He gave Neku a sly grin, before leaning in towards him and stealing a quick kiss. "He'd be Noise food if he did." Well, actually, that was a lie. He could probably hurt Sanae a good deal if he wanted to, but it's not like that would be without consequence on his part either.

"Nice, Joshua. Threatening to sick noise on your oldest friend," Neku sniggered and shifted to lay on his side so he could fish over the edge of the bed for his clothes. "You know, if I wasn't so strong-willed I'd be kicking your ass for how sore I am."

"Aww, was I too rough on you?" Joshua cooed, sliding his arms over the brunet's shoulders, his voice slightly condescending. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it over time..."

Neku blinked a few times and gingerly began shoving Joshua's arms off. "You weren't too rough," he scoffed. "But think about the dynamics of it and there you go."

"Want me to kiss it to make it feel better?" The Composer teased.

"...Ah, no," Neku decided promptly and shifted away from Joshua to get up and start dressing. "I know you'd like to but...just no."

"Mm, fine." He sighed and flopped backwards back on the cool sheets, sighing. He couldn't believe how well he slept last night... he wondered, for a moment, if it was because of the sex, or the fact Neku was there beside him all now. Hm. A bit too corny of a thought for his tastes. "Oh, that's right..." He pondered aloud and sat back up, grabbing his shirt and sliding it on lazily. "I never talked to you about our plans for today, did I?"

"No?" Neku looked over at Joshua, a few feet away from the bed by this point. He was sliding on his shirt and ironing out the wrinkles with his hands--and failing at it.

Joshua simply hummed for a bit, standing up only to pull his pants back on, then stretched leisurely and placed a hand on his hip. "We're going to be doing some training, so you can help us fight the Angels." He said with a smile.

"I can fight quite well, thanks," Neku scoffed and pulled on his boxers and then pants, working on fixing his belts with haste. He bit his bottom lip in concentration as his fingers attempted to slip the belt into the loop it was supposed to so it would hang loosely.

"We know you can - very well." The Composer walked over to the other teen, hands in his pockets now. "But I won't be able to keep you on training wheels forever, Neku. I use so little power in this form, you can't feel it - but when we fight the Angels, I'll need to use a lot more than what you're used to. Because we have a pact, you will in turn feel that difference, so we need to make sure you're prepared for it."

Neku nodded slowly. "So we're basically just teaching me how to withstand that much power and not my combat skills?" he asked slowly and ran a hand through his untamed hair.

"That about sums it up. Think you can handle it?" He smirked, giggling slightly.

"Sure, why not. I've dealt with a lot of the crap here, why not something new?" he joked and leaned back against the small bureau in Sanae's room. He closed his eyes briefly and allowed the 

quietness of the room to engulf him.

"Well then, why don't we go grab our disgruntled Producer and get started?" Joshua clapped his hands once, stepping forward to grab Neku's hand, and happily began to drag him out of the room. He didn't want to make his partner any more than he already was, so he purposely neglected to say that they needed to hurry, since he and Sanae were able to pinpoint the Angels' routes throughout Shibuya, and a few have already spotted the Cafe - of course the shield erected around it helped shield their energy, but it was really only a matter of time until they're found. Perhaps a day, two at most.

"Sanae, are you done pouting?" Joshua called as they walked down the stairs.

"Cut the crap, Boss." Was the annoyed reply he received. He sounded angry, but not nearly as much as he was before. Meaning he'd probably let them both off the hook shortly.

When they arrived at the main floor, Neku rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand a bit wearily. He'd have to make sure to strip Mr. H's bed of the 'destroyed' sheets before he and Joshua were burned to death on the stake...or in a large coffee pot. He cringed at both thoughts.

"He'll be done pouting when you're done being a pompous know it all, Josh," Neku pointed out with a calm snicker as he looked towards the Producer with an amused glimmer in his eyes.

"Thank you, Neku." Sanae graciously smiled at the younger teen, but in turn earned a half-hearted glare from the Composer at his side.

"Whose side are you on?" Joshua pointed out, eyebrow twitching slightly in annoyance.

Neku hummed to himself indifferently, stretching his arms above his head in the process. "But Josh, I thought we all were on the same side," he teased lightly and stepped away from his partner and headed over to the counter to take a seat at one of the stools.

Joshua just gave the brunet a look that only Sanae could translate easily into "I am so not going easy on you" - probably referring to the training Neku will be put under shortly. The Producer knew how fun it must be to tease his Boss in such a way with the privilege of not being erased at first insult, but Neku should really learn when and when not to tone it down, lest he get hurt. Or maybe he was a masochist. Hell if he knew.

"So... did you brief Phones on our plans for today?" Sanae asked casually, leaning back against the counter said teen sat at on one of the stools. Joshua nodded.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'm up for it today. Haven't had that much practice in fighting lately, with the whole being alive ordeal, but I'm up for it." He leaned his cheek into his palm and flicked his gaze calmly between the pair. "Of course, if I do badly just blame it on Josh." And he totally wasn't implying anything that had happened the night prior.

"Oh believe me, more than just your ass will be-" Joshua began, but was quickly interrupted by his Producer.

"_T.M.I._ Please, for the love of _god_, keep that to a minimum. I do not need to know about your sex life, Boss."

Neku shot Joshua a knowing stare. "I'm surprised you're not sore either. I mean," his eyes grew mischievous, as if testing the water with his black-haired idol, "with all that moving and whatnot." Perhaps he was being childish but causing Mr. H to become annoyed or awkward was actually a bit refreshing after all of the seriousness that was around them at the moment.

"I'll never get tired, or sore of having you bottom for me, darling." Joshua smirked evilly. "Just like a good little lapdog."

"So! Why don't I show us to the back room, there's more space available for training." Mr. H replied with annoyance practically dripping from his voice, grabbing Neku by the shoulder and leading him back towards the hallway, glaring at his Boss none too politely.

"Keep dreaming, Josh," Neku called nonchalantly over his shoulder before walking with Mr. Hanekoma, almost amused by the hand on his shoulder. The amusement faded as he was thrust back into reality. Training, right. He needed to train so that he could help the pair against the Angels. So much for a good mood.

Joshua simply hummed a happy tune, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he followed the two in front of him, grinning at the levity the air had, even if it was just for a passing moment. Wildkat had only a few rooms at Sanae's disposal - the back room, where he and Neku so kindly defiled the couch, the bedroom and bathroom upstairs, the storage room, and the door that lead to the Room of Reckoning, nestled as far back in the store as possible. Oddly enough, that was the very door the cafe owner lead the boys to.

"Mind rerouting the portal? Someplace the Angel's haven't touched..." Sanae offered, stepping back to let Joshua handle the job.

"I can create a pocket of temporal space for the time being... but if this door is destroyed in the meantime, we'll be royally screwed. Mind guarding it for me?" The Composer stepped forward, closing his eyes and tapping into his power - at least, as much as he could while still in his RG form. He didn't want to risk doing something like this in his true form - it would probably stun Neku since he hasn't had the time to adjust to his flow of power yet. Lifting a glowing hand, the silver-haired boy grabbed the door handle, causing the outline of it to shine momentarily, before dimming back down to normal. Without any further notice, he opened it, stepping aside and motioning for his partner to step forward. "Ladies first." He smiled sweetly.

"Then shouldn't you be the one going first?" Neku quipped as he managed to keep his cool. Frankly, he had never thought long and hard about how strong Joshua truly was. He had never gone against just him, and he doubted he had ever seen the Composer use his abilities to their max. The orangey brunet shook his head at the thought and decided it'd be best to keep things that way.

Regardless of the prior insult, Neku stepped through the door cautiously, his hand at ready in case he needed to call forth a pin or something to destroy whatever lay behind said door.

Thankfully for him though, once he stepped through the shadows, he found himself in an oddly... normal place. The air in the room had a similar feel to the Shibuya River, and it looked amazingly similar as well. The whole space seemed to mirror the road to Megumi's former hiding place... the Rubicon, was it? It was somehow less dank and didn't have the fragrant smell of... well, sewer things.

"Forgive my lack of creativity, but this should suffice, shouldn't it?" Joshua appeared behind the teen, Sanae not far from them, but once he stepped through, he stayed right where he was, guarding the portal back to WildKat.

"Lucky for you this isn't a creativity contest," Neku agreed with a glance back at Joshua and nodded some. "It should work. If it works for you, then it works for me. You know what the field needs to have, I don't. You're the one that's training me to withstand the power," he pointed out and ran his right hand absently down along his left arm, dispelling the goosebumps that had appeared out of nowhere. Perhaps it was just the room or the anticipation.

Joshua smiled and stepped back a few paces from the boy, letting the almost haunting silence flow through them both. "Let's get started then, shall we?"

And in an instant, a familiar light wrapped around the silver-haired teen's body, allowing him to let go of the weaker RG form he had been keeping up for Neku. The blinding light subsided after a few moments, the ethereal form of the Composer standing with a rather smug look on his face - at least, from what one could see of it.

"Go easy on 'im, Boss." Sanae said in a careful tone. "Use as little power as you can at first. Don't want to scare the poor kid."

Neku chuckled uneasily, eying the Composer with a rather uneasy stare. For some reason he knew, deep down, that he wasn't leaving this room without a few more bruises and scrapes that he had originally started with. He averted his gaze after a moment, the light being too much for his eyes that were accustomed to the dim, tranquil lighting of Wildkat.

Hopefully whatever Joshua was planning wouldn't kill him from a power overload, right? Oh god he was hoping that wouldn't be the case.

"Oh don't worry, dear." The Composer smiled with a condescending tone to his voice. "I'll be gentle. We'll just see how much power you can withstand at rest."

Without warning, the light around the ethereal figure pulse for a moment - and sent a shock through Neku, twice as powerful as Sanae suggested he start at.

Worst case scenario, he faints. Oh well, at least now he can extract a little revenge.

At first Neku didn't feel anything whatsoever, but after a moment, the pulse ran through his body, mingling with his blood and nerves and--and he toppled backwards, his already sore backside hitting the hard ground with a resounding thump. His hand flew up to hold his head, a headache appearing from the sudden onslaught of power. And damn. What ever he had just done was twice as bad as whatever the Noise had ever done to him...

"T-the _hell_?" he demanded and looked dizzily up at the glowing figure with an unfocused stare.

"Ahh, sorry." The Composer stood there, one hand on his hip, the other raised as he nonchalantly inspected whatever was under his nails. If he had nails. "Must not have been paying attention. Was that too weak?"

Neku rubbed the side of his cheek with his hand vigorously before stumbling to his feet. The headache was fading a bit and he still found it difficult to look straight at Joshua in that form. "...It was fine," he murmured and flexed his hands as the pain from the earlier power dulled.

"Good. Then shall we kick it up a notch?" Joshua smiled with a hint of sadism in his voice, before the light around him pulsed once more, easily sending a ripple of power through Neku that was a good deal more intense - again, he didn't hold back and probably should have made it weaker than he did.

Neku's fingers dug into the soft skin of his palm as he ground his feet into the floor beneath him to withstand the pain. Nope... After a moment he felt his knees shake a bit and lose support. He fell to the ground again, hands and knees greeting the floor beneath him in a deep kiss.

"D-d-damn..." he groaned and shuddered.

"Boss, stop being so hard on him." Sanae groaned, wanting so badly to walk over and help the poor boy up, but he stood right where he was, keeping a constant "hold" on the door. "I know you love being an asshole, but if you keep this up, you're going to erase him."

The Composer chuckled at his Producer's words, as if entertained by the thought - but nonetheless, he stepped forward to the fallen boy, leaning down on one knee as he offered a hand. "You're stronger than this, Neku, I know you are. Now stand up - I'll start more slowly."

Neku eyed Joshua for a moment and shrugged off the hand offered to him. There was no way that he was going to appear weak before his smug partner. With a grunt, he struggled to his feet and rubbed absently at his surely scraped knees. "You know, killing me a third time won't save anything, Josh," he muttered and inhaled deeply, allowing the tingling of the power to fade away once more.

"Which is exactly why I won't be killing you." He grinned in reply, standing up along with the abused teen. With a steady hand he placed his fingers gently, almost tenderly atop Neku's forehead, his voice softer than it was before. "Now... concentrate on my power. The light, the warmth... don't let it just rush in. Greet it, and you won't feel near as much pain. Let it wash over you, not consume you." The ethereal figure closed his eyes, allowing a sliver of energy to pulse through their connection, rhythmic and soft.

Neku inhaled deeply and forced his body to relax. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the trickling of foreign power passing through his body. At first it felt like a gentle prick of electricity but after a moment it turned more into a warm rush of something. He didn't know what the word was entirely to describe it. Perhaps warm water gushing through his body? Or maybe warm light touching his cold skin and seeping in? It felt strangely nice after he got used to it.

"Joshua," he murmured, eyes still shut firmly. He wasn't entirely sure how much more intense this would get but the hand was awfully reassuring and helpful.

"Just like that." The Composer replied softly, retreating his hand and smiling down at his younger proxy. "Now... I'm going to make it a bit stronger... let me know if it's too much for you." Finally with a warning this time, the light pulsed once more and slowly the power between them both began to increase. As much as he loved to tease Neku, it didn't take him long to realize he was uncomfortable knowing he was inducing more pain than necessary for him. After all, the brunet wasn't too comfortable with this too begin with - he didn't want to scare him.

Considering he was prepared this time, Neku focused his mind on the entering power and not on his nerves. His fingers still dug at his own soft palm, making pinpricks of blood surface as he stood steady. His mind was throbbing but he pushed aside the thought of pain and focused on his partner's power. He kept his eyes closed, finding it so much easier to do it this way.

"Neku," The silver-haired man interrupted Neku's train of thought, lessening the flow of energy and gently taking his hand. He was bleeding... not horribly, but apparently he was in enough pain to induce such an injury on himself. "Is this too much for you...?" His voice wasn't condescending - but soft, and concerned.

It sort of freaked Sanae out.

"It's fine, keep going," Neku urged, wincing at the feeling of something touching the self-caused injury. It was minor but still something. "I can handle it," he murmured stubbornly. He wasn't weak and he was going to prove it. Sure, the power was making him dizzy and cringe in pain but at least he wasn't falling over in surprise anymore. If it would save him from future remarks about how little power he could handle, he was willing to endure it.

"I'm not going to push you to do something you're not ready for." He replied, leaning down so he could look at his partner on a more even level. "You let me know when you're ready for me to increase the power. Contrary to what you may think, I don't want to hurt you. At least, not _this_ badly." He did, maybe a little. For different reasons. But he wouldn't go into detail with Sanae within earshot.

Neku grumbled quietly under his breath and gave a slow nod. He allowed the current energy to wash over him, make him dizzy and light-headed, before he parted his lips and murmured out a strained, "Well...go ahead."

Joshua nodded and again began the slight increase in energy, allowing the boy in front of him to adjust on his own time. It seemed like hours passed as they continued this slow uphill struggle, Joshua trying to take it as slow as he could possibly manage; but it didn't take long for his partner to start picking up speed. After the initial shock of something so foreign and, at first, painful... the brunet began to adapt quickly, sometimes surprising the Composer at his willingness to continue. And much to Sanae's surprise, his Boss never once teased the boy after the first painful experience - perhaps he was admiring how strong Neku was, enduring this without once complaining.

"You think you're ready to try activating a Psych now?" Joshua asked calmly, now able to relax and keep a somewhat steady flow of power within their connection without having to worry too much. "Or do you want a break before we try something like that?"

"No break, I'm fine," Neku assured steadfastly with a stiff nod. "And what do you propose I use it on?" he murmured as he struggled to keep a hold on the power. Just continue to do what Joshua said, that was all. Focus on the power and greet it, don't fight it. But god, that was so difficult all of a sudden. "And does it matter which Psych?" he proceeded to ask, being oddly more inquisitive than usual. Perhaps the fear of doing something wrong with this much power afoot scared him just the slightest.

"Well, yes... think of my power as a set of weights. Just standing with it is easier than running with it, wouldn't you agree?" Joshua folded his arms and shifted to favor one leg, watching Neku carefully in case the boy decided to faint. He was looking worse... he must be getting tired. But if he wanted to continue, he won't stop him. They needed to hurry, anyway. "Try something simple... like, Psychokinesis. Try moving ... hm." The Composer looked around, noticing that when he created this pocket dimension, he didn't waste time in creating anything but the walls, so there was nothing to move. "... The pendant on your necklace. That should be easy enough."

"...Just that?" Neku asked, teeth gritting as he attempted to remain in control. "...Well, whatever you say," he murmured to himself before reaching for his pin absently. His fingers curled around the cool metal of the designated pin that would move an object before he attempted to channel some of the power into the Psych so that his pendant would move.

And using power while trying to withstand it all at the same time was harder than it appeared. "D-damn..." he cursed as he gripped the pin harder, focusing on trying to move that blasted thing around his neck and only receiving a slight twitch in response.

"You're a strong kid, Neku. I know you can do this." Joshua actually encouraged him, smiling ever so slightly. Hopefully though, once he gets this down, he'll improve at an exponential speed. He resisted trying to rile the boy up to see if that would get him to work faster at it, but he pushed the thought aside, as tempting as it was.

After a moment of both visibly physical and mental strain, the pendant lifted into the air at around eye-level, threatening to slip up and off his head entirely. He sucked in a deep breath. "Don't call me a kid, Josh," he gritted out afterwards, keeping the pendant afloat as he cracked open an eye weakly.

That earned him an amused giggle - which somehow sounded even creepier in his older form. "To me, dear, you are a kid. No offense intended." He replied with a grin.

Neku rolled his eyes. "Then that makes you a pedophile, hm?" he murmured and absently flipped the coin back and forth in his hand, attempting to keep his necklace's charm afloat as well as control the energy Joshua was giving off.

"Yes, it does." The Composer replied without missing a beat, like it was nothing to be concerned about. "By about 290 years, I'd say."

Neku twitched. "Oh, well that makes me feel _so_ much better," he groaned and tossed Joshua a knowing stare. "Funny you couldn't find yourself a boyfriend to do in that many years."

"I was too preoccupied with more important things. You're the only one that made me feel like I wanted to neglect my job." He gave him a bit of a sad smile, but he easily covered it up. "Well, aside from Sanae - but that's for a totally different reason."

"You complained a lot back when you first became Composer." The usually silent cafe owner said, hands in his pockets as he smoked a cigarette.

"Yeah, but you were a hard ass back before I whipped you into shape." The silver-haired entity replied smoothly.

"Whatever you say, Boss."

Neku snickered some and offered Joshua a somewhat soft look. "I suppose that's your backwards way of telling me that I'm just special," he snickered and put his pin back after a moment, allowing the necklace to drop back into place.

"Gonna take a break, Phones? I really think it would do you some good." Sanae asked from across the room.

With a defeated sigh he nodded at last. "Sure..." he murmured.

"Mm I think we should tell Sanae to leave us alone for a while." The Composer purred and appeared behind Neku, sliding his larger arms around the boy's shoulders, having to lean down to make up for the height difference in this form. He kissed Neku's cheek, but this time the touch was different - it was somehow warmer, and a spark of power accompanied the touch of skin.

"I don't think that requires as rest, Boss." Was the annoyed reply.

Neku shivered at the difference. "Josh..." he warned and tossed Mr. Hanekoma a hesitant look. Was Joshua seriously going to seduce him in front of his Producer? Ahah of course not...right?

Joshua clicked his tongue in an equally annoyed response, sliding his arms off the younger boy and reverting back to his RG form to make sure no extra power slipped through to Neku so he could relax.

The lack of power pulsating through his body ended and he audibly sighed in relief. His tense muscled slackened and he inhaled deeply through his nose. "Much better," he replied absently.

"You're coming along much faster than expected, Phones." Sanae offered, breaking the silence. "Though I don't think it helped that Boss did that to you in the beginning..."

Neku sighed. "When is he ever fair?" he joked and slipped down into a sitting position to further relax.

"Oh come on, I'm just a simple sadist in love." Joshua spoke like there was absolutely nothing wrong with the statement. "He's so cute when he squirms."

"I really worry about you sometimes, Composer. I really do." Sanae replied.

Neku snickered some to himself and looked to Josh with a soft smirk. "If you expose your sadist side too much you won't have anything to be in love with," he hummed casually.

"Oh, I'll make sure you're breathing one way or another" He hummed, stepping back to sit down on... well, nothing. Air. "Can't have you dying on me again, can we?"

"Then you'd not only be a pedophile but you'd be dabbling in necrophilia...which you kinda already are," he mused quietly and shrugged.

"Hey, I'm not technically human, and you're not technically 'dead'. I don't think a lot of fetishes even count anymore." Joshua shrugged it off.

"_Seriously_ you two." Mr. Hanekoma spoke up again.

"Well, that didn't seem to bother either of us last night," Neku stated slowly, glancing out of the corner of his eye to his idol. Why was torturing him so fun again?

"Mm, no it didn't." The Composer couldn't help but grin back in reply, the gaze from his faded eyes slightly suggestive. "And it won't tonight, either"

"If you two are going to have sex with your eyes for the next hour or two, can I go back to the cafe?" Came Sanae's almost pitiful request.

"No." Was his Boss' reply.

Neku sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It might be safer for his mind at the cafe though, Josh," he murmured in suggestion and looked back over at Joshua, the statement from before not having gone unheard.

Sanae just groaned. "We are on a bit of a time limit here, you know."

"Oh come now. I'm not allowed to make any jokes? Neku's resting - I hardly want to slow his rejuvenation." Joshua spoke in an even tone, serious but still laid back in his odd sort of way. "Tempting as it is." He sent Neku another look.

Neku chuckled quietly to himself and inhaled through his nose. The air wasn't quite as fresh as back in the cafe but he really didn't seem to mind. "I never knew you to resist temptation," he mused quietly as his eyes shut once more.

"Well, there's no way I can screw your brains out if I'm dead." Joshua stated simply, leaning back on his non-existent seat in the air. "...Or if I kill you by force-feeding you power you can't handle because we decided to have sex instead of training."

"Good point," Neku agreed with a grumble and ran his hand idly along the ground beneath him. "Wonder if training would work in that situation though." He smirked to himself. "I mean, it could be interesting if you upped the power..."

"Mm, I'd burn your skin at this point." The silver-haired boy chuckled. "You're still not quite used to it enough to withstand physical contact while I use my power." He couldn't help but pause and widen his smirk, something obviously indecent roaming through his mind. "I dunno though, the thought is appealing to my inner sadist... to hear you scream my name, begging and pleading _Ahh_, you would look so cute."

Neku shuddered slightly at that thought. "I can only imagine all the things you'd do to my perfectly unscarred skin," he murmured and inwardly rolled his eyes keeping them firmly shut. After a moment of silence, though, he slipped open his eyes and gazed towards the Composer.

The Composer returned the gaze for a moment, before once again he stood to his feet, light swirling faintly amidst his steps. "Are you ready to continue your training then?" He placed one hand on his hips in a leisurely fashion, shifting his weight to one leg, giving his partner a bit of a smile.

Neku surveyed his partner for a lengthy minute before nodding and curtly getting to his feet. "Which training are we talking about..." he joked quietly and wiped off the dirt that had collected on his pants before murmuring in a whisper towards his partner, "..._master_?"

Joshua had been, albeit almost painfully, keeping his hormones in check even through the suggestive conversation they had - partially for the sake of his Producer's sanity, and partially because he knew very well he needed to train Neku before the Angels found them. As much as he disliked it, they really didn't have the luxury of... _'flirting'_ like this.

But dear lord, at the whisper Neku gave him, Joshua nearly felt his heart skip and his face flush. What the--? All of the sudden, like this... "Damn it, Neku..." The Composer grit his teeth, stepping forward and leaning in so close his breath fluttered against his partner's ear. "Don't tempt me."

"At least I know what turns you on now," Neku whispered back with a slight flush despite his smug demeanor. He felt chills dance down his spine at the other's breath and he attempted to remain nonchalant for his, Joshua's, and Sanae's sake because he highly doubted that Mr. H would survive watching two teenager boys rip each other's clothes off at random.

"And to think I'm actually enjoying this with you. People do change, huh?" Neku laughed quietly under his breath to Joshua. He gingerly moved his hand to push his hair behind his exposed ear, making certain to brush the appendage against the Composer's hand.

With a sharp intake of breath, Joshua found himself, surprisingly, at Neku's mercy with his flirtatious touches that left his skin tingling in a sensual fashion. Lord... he wanted to take his partner right then and there, all too eager to hear him scream the title so affectionately (albeit unexpectedly) given to him not moments before. Perhaps... Perhaps that could be a sort of training, right? It would certainly be physical strain, and if he was in his true form, it would be-

No. No, no, no. Neku needed to learn how to use Psychs as well as physical bombardment - not just one. Even if he was learning faster than expected, and he was getting the hang of Psychs...

Oh, screw it. He'll be damned if he has to fight the Angels with a hard-on all because Neku just had to tease him like this. "Sanae," Joshua said with a rather nonchalant expression, surprised at his own ability to keep the lust in his voice down to such a minimum. "Neku and I will be engaging in a... special training activity. Be a dear and guard the portal from inside the cafe, will you?"

The Producer frowned, about to roll his eyes and make a snide remark at that, but decided that he valued his life and kept his mouth shut. Neku has been working non-stop for quite some time... it probably wouldn't hurt to do something a little more... fun? Mental health was important, too. Joshua was the Composer - he knew what he was doing.

He hoped.

"'Aight, Boss." Was all he replied, before he stepped through the seemingly tangible wall to his side and disappeared from sight.

Neku was rather surprised at this drastic change in Joshua. Moments before the Composer had been determined to train, train, train and yet with a simple whisper and touch of skin he had reduced his partner to a lusty pile of desire.

"Think we'll be safe here with Mr. H on the other side?" the orangey brunet wondered after a moment as his arms came to cross his chest.

"We'll be more than fine - if the Angel come knocking on the door, he'll keep 'em at bay and warn us." Joshua replied almost a little too hastily, his gaze falling on Neku with an increasingly worrisome grin. "Now then..."

In an instant the silver-haired boy was on his knees, shoving his partner back onto the cold concrete ground with a little more aggression that he uses, eyes slightly darker. "I believe you were in the process of throwing yourself at my mercy, hmm? I suppose I'll have to punish you for teasing me like that..."

"If you want me at your mercy," Neku began with slightly flushed cheeks and increased breathing, "you're going to have to try harder than that, Josh."

Although he had just been shoved down against the ground, he really didn't seem to mind. In fact, in an odd sort of way, he enjoyed it. He had never been one for affection but...the way Joshua looked, touched, and spoke to him did something to him. It made him crave more selfishly.

"Mm," The Composer's eyes lidden, before he leaned over the boy with a predator's gaze, closing in on him with such dangerous air it influenced the very feel of the sub-space they were in, making is seem darker...colder... almost like a prison. "Careful, Neku..." He whispered, lips brushing against the side of his partner's neck, his body pulsing with a faint light. "Push me too far, and I could crush you under my fingertips..."

Neku's eyes fluttered shut pleasantly but he voiced no opinion on the subject for a few moments. "So full of yourself," he mused quietly and rolled his eyes. He knew very well that Joshua was speaking the truth. He knew that the Composer was a million times stronger than him. But he also knew that Joshua hurting him was out of the question, or so he figured.

"So what are you going to do with me, _master_?" he asked cockily and smirked up at Joshua despite the Goosebumps lingering on his entire body.

Joshua grinned inwardly at the question, raising a hand to press it tenderly against the brunet's cheek. "My adorable little proxy..." He uttered in a breathy voice, before his body shone brightly, light curling around his form until he once again adorned the ethereal body of his true form - the hand that was so warmly held against Neku's cheek now stinging with pain, hot like fire yet pulsing with dull, aching pain like ice. It was obvious now that Joshua wasn't going to hold back quite as much as he had been in their earlier training.

"I am going to make you scream... make you beg, make you bleed...until you body finally accepts my power." He bent down to kiss the boy on the lips, the light around the Composer now licking his skin, sending painful electric currents through his body at each and every point of contact. And if that wasn't enough, the direct contact from the kiss was twice as powerful - if Neku was anything but a normal Player, he would have been erased at the simple touch.

Neku's neck arched back at once. Orangey spikes of hair brushed along the dirt beneath him as his fingernails dug downward as well. A strangled noise started in the base of his throat and danced up to his parted lips. He gasped in a mixture of bliss and undeniable pain. His eyes closed tightly for a moment before his right slipped open halfway.

"_S-shit_," he murmured, barely coherently, against the kiss as he felt his body squirming on its own accord in response to the electrical pricks that reminded him of an attack brought on by some powerful noise.

The silver-haired man retracted from the kiss, tongue trailing along Neku's bottom lip, leaving in its wake the sensation of burning skin. "What's wrong?" His voice was dark and amused... sadistic. He was enjoying this - too much, perhaps... and it showed. Dangerously so. "Am I going to break you already, Neku...?" He cooed, hands traveling down the boy's body before they rest at his hips, keeping him firmly pinned to the ground.

Neku usually wasn't one for voicing his views on a situation. Like that one time with Shiki when he had been attacked out of nowhere by a feral noise. Yeah, he had gotten hurt pretty badly but he did his best to hide it because, really, he hated others thinking he was weak.

But for some reason the onslaught of power that he thought he had been used to earlier during training was a bit too much. His mind was lost in a lusty haze and he couldn't focus and welcome the power.

"_L-lower the power_," he gasped and kept his gaze averted despite his eyes being shut.

"What was that?" Came the mockingly sweet voice of the man above him, his fingers gripping harder at Neku's hips, causing the surge of pain to amplify, running up his body like electricity. A warning light became clear in the back of the boy's head, as something cold wrapped around his mind... something dangerous. Terrifying. Like his soul was slowly being cut apart... he was close to being _erased_. "I couldn't hear you, little one..."

Alarm grew wildly in the younger of the two partners. His breathing grew shaky as he tried to squirm out of Joshua's grasp. It didn't work one ounce. The man above him was far too strong. He lifted his shaking arm painfully into the air and tried to shove at the other's chest but found the pricks of power that the contact created more unbearable than before.

"_Joshua_," He choked out and felt his mind dulling from the myriad of power, "P-p..lease _stop_," he begged weakly and felt his body and consciousness slipping.

"You used my name..." He replied huskily, fingers trailing up from the brunet's hips to slide under the hem of his shirt, ghosting across the sensitive skin of his stomach. The touch was just as painful, but it seemed like the threat of erasure was slightly less prominent. Whether the Composer conciously held back, or it was simply a fluke, it wasn't clear. "We can't have that, now can we?" He leaned forward, lips at Neku's ear as he whispered, voice dark and demanding - terrifyingly powerful. "Now... _beg_, Neku."

"J-joshua, damnit...y-you're _hurting_ me," he pleaded and shivered at the entrance of power on his body, directly onto his skin. It stung horridly and made his toes curl painfully.

Neku didn't think to toss out the nickname from earlier--he wasn't thinking coherently enough to play along with whatever they had earlier agreed upon wordlessly. The pain was too much and he felt his head throbbing. He just figured that Joshua would stop if he asked but...that didn't seem like the case right now.

"_Ah ah ah"_ The Composer cooed, obviously not satisfied with what he heard. For a moment, he removed all source of contact from the boy, letting the pain subside for one fleeting moment as he gazed down at the exhausted, nearly broken boy. "You are making me very impatient, my little proxy. If you're barely concious now, I doubt you'll be alive if you keep this up..."

Neku's eyes opened at the sudden absence of pain. He stared at the other for a moment, his body still numb. "I'm..not playing anymore, Joshua," he coughed some and attempted to move his hand to allow feeling to return to it. "..Damnit...I really hurt," he murmured. He had no idea, really. Just as dense as ever.

"Mm, all talk then, Neku dear?" He leaned in, placing another kiss on the boy's cheek, the surge of power from the touch still painful, but it was obvious he toned it down a few notches. He was aware of 

how much pain he put Neku through, but if he kept this up just a little longer, he would soon get used to it. He supposed the point where he almost erased his partner was going a bit overboard... oh well, he'll get over it. If not, he would make him get over it. "I thought you were stronger than this."

Neku sighed and took in a deep breath. "I am stronger than this," he muttered stubbornly and allowed his eyes to close. "Just don't do that again, okay?" he murmured and raised his hand to touch the Composer's chest gently. The power trickled into his fingertips. He winced just the slightest before he forced his mind to welcome the warm prickling sensation.

"Your resistance is already twice of that from when Sanae left, because of that." He grinned at the brunet in similar way a predator stares down its prey. "I may very well do it again." Raising his hand, he placed it over Neku's with another spark of power, though not quite as intense as before, but it was still painful.

"You're going to have to learn to accept my power even while withstanding unbearable pain - one direct hit from an Angel and you lose focus, I'll erase you if I'm using even half of my full strength." The silver-haired man leaned back down and planted another kiss on the boy, the power left behind more of a tingling sensation than a burning one, like before. Quite suddenly, his voice softened, tone barely above a whisper as he rest his forehead against his partner's gently. "I wouldn't be able to go on knowing I killed you, Neku."

Neku felt heat rise to his cheeks and his heart relax just a bit. "..Next time warn me before you scare the living shit out of me," he murmured a bit before letting his hand wander along the high-energy planes along the other's body, his body slowly adjusting to the pain and power alot more than moments prior.

"Ahh, but you're so _adorable_ when you're scared." The Composer replied simply, giggling just slightly as he increased the power around him steadily, waiting to see just when he'll make the boy beneath him flirt with erasure once more - though he was reluctant to do so. A part of him, the part he knew Neku despised, loved to see his partner squirm and look up at him with terrified, pleading eyes... and yet, another part of him was disgusted that he could even do that to begin with. He tried to find a happy medium, but he really only succeeded in acting like a spoiled, bipolar child.

Note to self: Work on that. Perhaps see that shrink Sanae had been bugging him to see for the past 200 years.

Neku grunted in response and attempted to focus on the incoming energy. His mind wasn't as hazed over with lust as earlier so the pain was a bit more tolerable--plus, he knew what he was expecting. His body still began shaking and tingling rather unbearably from the increased power but it was...expected.

"H-hurts," he muttered more so to himself as he gritted his teeth together.

"Shh," Joshua whispered, retracting just slightly, before more slowly increasing his energy once more, allowing the boy to take a bit of a breather before he did. "It's okay. We'll try this at your pace... just relax - I won't go near as far as I did before." He really didn't want to go this slowly - he much rather preferred telling Neku to just bite his tongue and deal with it; he would improve a lot faster if he did. But... he supposed the boy needed a break, and if he accidentally made him pass out, his training would take even longer.

Joshua had never really learned how to cope with a decision that wasn't in his best interests. His normal response would be just to erase whatever - or whomever - it was causing trouble. But now that there was someone before him he didn't want to lose, it was a strange, and unwelcome form of ... _helplessness_. He hated it. But he hated the thought of Neku being hurt far more than he could physically 

and mentally handle even more.

"I suck, don't I? Can't even handle this, god..." Neku laughed weakly, his voice strained as he focused on the power incoming. God, it felt so weird and controlling...it was like someone shoving you into an electrical fence, almost. Hell, it was worse than when he ran into the walls accidentally during the Game. And he thought that had hurt.

"No, no..." The Composer chuckled softly, leaning in to rest his head atop the boy's shoulder, planting a kiss on his neck. "I probably would have erased Megumi by this point if we had a pact... you give yourself too little credit."

"Thanks," Neku murmured and shifted his neck a bit. "But you'd only make a pact with me," he joked weakly. "I mean, you've made a pact with me twice..." He chuckled some.

"Mm, that's true..." Joshua replied in something reminiscent of a sigh, moving his arms so that they tucked under Neku's in a ghost of an embrace, lips still moving against the skin of his neck. He was starting to like this a bit better than the intense session from before... there was more time to feel and touch, to be lost in Neku's being just as the brunet was lost in his. "I don't think I'll be making a pact with... anyone but you... for a long while." He grinned a bit, running his tongue hotly along his partner's collarbone. "...If ever."

Neku smirked some, pushing the pain to the back of his mind as it washed over him. "Good, because I won't be making any more pacts either," he mused and tilted his head back some to let the pleasant feeling of the tongue to consume him.

The silver-haired man chuckled, moving his hands back down Neku's torso, hands gliding up under his shirt and bunching it up near his chest. "Glad to hear it. I know you'd have never guessed, but I'm the jealous type."

"You? _Jealous_? Hah," Neku teased and rolled his eyes some. His back arched some off the cold ground and his blue eyes watched Joshua dully in the dim light. "You know, this power is tolerable right now."

"Really?" Came a pleasantly surprised reply. "Because I'm using a little more power than when you were struggling to use your Psych." The Composer grinned, leaning back up to kiss the brunet on the lips with a slight more energy in their contact. "See? What I did before really helped, even if you did almost piss your shorts."

"Yeah well, I would have preferred if you did it this way, thanks," Neku murmured and returned the kiss. For some reason the added energy made it a lot more intense than a simple kiss should have been. Then again, this time the power was a lot more tolerable.

"Mm, don't like the thrill of being scared?" His tone was light and only slightly mocking this time - about as close to joking as he gets. "Thought that might turn you on. Pain doesn't either, I suppose. And here I was, getting all schoolgirl giddy about it."

"Pain doesn't turn me on, sorry," Neku agreed with a sigh as he smirked up at Joshua. "It may turn you on to see people in pain or whatever, but the favor isn't returned," he laughed quietly.

"Not so much the pain I like seeing..." The Composer replied in a husky voice, pausing the kiss just long enough to strip Neku of his shirt, tossing it aside on the concrete, forgotten. "I just like to watch you squirm" He purred, gazing down at the younger boy as his fingers traced along the now exposed skin of his chest.

Neku released a shudder and rolled his eyes. "Me squirm, huh? I think you're just addicted to me," he admitted with a snicker as he lifted his hand shakily into the air and threaded his fingers into the 

ethereal and weightless mess of what seemed to be hair.

"Guilty of that too." He added with a smirk, leaning back down to place an open-mouthed kiss on the boy's collarbone, licking and nipping at the tender flesh. Each time their skin touched was less painful than the last, and now became more of a warm spark of sorts, igniting something deep within them both, a little at a time. Joshua began to wonder if he liked being with Neku in this form more than his RG one... which is troublesome - because if they miraculously succeed in defeating the Angels, and his partner was given his life back, it would be near impossible for the boy to see him, much less make physical contact with him in his true form.

Oh well. Might as well make the best of it while he can. "Neku" He purred, trailing his tongue down the center of the younger boy's chest.

Despite the earlier fear that had grown in Neku from his 'near erasure' moment, the affection he was receiving now made him more than happy to just lay there against the ground. His usually curious, wandering hands remained, for the most part, stationary as he soaked in and indulged every single spark that Joshua's body provided.

When the lips met his chest he arched slightly off the floor and held back a groan. He wasn't in pain at all. "Funny...first boyfriend I get and he's kinda like a god," he mused breathlessly.

"Aww, boyfriend?" Joshua echoed a little too gleefully - something he would do in his RG form, but seemed almost creepy when he did it in this older body of his. "I'm honored" His voice was slightly mocking, but it was clear that he actually was somewhat touched. "If I'm a god, I think you should worship me more."

"I think I'll just stick to boyfriend, thank you," Neku murmured and opened his eyes to stare meaningfully at Joshua. "I don't think that I would ever date anything that I worshipped. Sorry, Josh." He smirked. "So be thankful I don't worship you."

"Ahh, so I can't have both?" The Composer questioned with an innocent smile, his hands gilding down Neku's stomach to pause and dance around the hem of his shorts. "Guess I can live with that. You're submissive, anyway." He teased, trailing his tongue down the boy's torso with a grin.

Neku half moaned, half groaned in response. "Submissive? Hah...maybe just a bit for you but in general? No," he murmured through gritted teeth as he tangled his hand into the misty power field where the Composer's hair was.

"Just a bit? Really?" Joshua paused to grip the sides of Neku's shorts before he tugged them off, his hands lingering along the sides of his partner's legs as he did so. "That wasn't the way I remembered you last night..." He leaned down, pressing a hot kiss to the obvious bulge in Neku's boxers.

"Josh..." Neku gasped out shakily and moaned some before averting his gaze. His eyes slipped shut seconds later. "Is this really the best place to be doing this?" he groaned and wrapped an arm deftly around the Composer despite the tingling it brought him.

"No," The silver-haired man openly admitted. "But at least you're progressing. Nothing I do really hurts anymore, does it?" White fingers gripped the hem of the boy's boxers, pulling them down just enough for the cool air to hit the hardened member underneath. "Like, say... this?" He leaned down, licking with just the tip of his tongue from the base of Neku's shaft, agonizingly slow up to the very tip.

"Just...tingles more than it s-should but that really isn't a bad thing," he admitted and then moaned, burying his fingers further into the energy as he tried his best not to move suddenly.

"Good, then we'll do something different." Joshua grinned and retreated from Neku's erection, giving the boy a somewhat dangerously mischievous look as he sat back, propping himself up with one 

arm. "Lose the boxers and crawl on my lap."

Neku's eyes widened and his brow cocked. "E-excuse me?" he asked and shifted into a sitting position, his fingers rest on the hem of his boxers. He inhaled deeply and stared at Joshua with slight hesitation.

"I said on my lap." The Composer repeated with more force, eyes lidding as he shot Neku a sadistic grin. "I suggest you do as I say before I start making you say 'master' again."

Neku eyed Joshua for a brief moment and then slipped off his boxers. A hot blush remained on his cheeks as he grumbled something and slid onto the Composer's lap with a cough. "Can't believe I'm doing this..."

"And why is that...?" Joshua purred, running the tips of his fingers down the younger boy's back before they gripped his hips ever so slightly. "You don't honestly think I was going to let you have all the pleasure, were you Neku?"

Neku coughed some and rubbed the back of his neck. "You sure I'm ready for uh...this much power?" he murmured and shivered at the touches once more.

"Good question. Does this hurt?" He asked in a sickeningly innocent voice, before he took just his two index fingers and slid them back up Neku's back, leaving a trail of fairly painful electric shocks that would have erased a Reaper in seconds - but they've been training for quite some time, so it shouldn't be too horribly painful... well, at least it won't kill him anymore.

Neku groaned and bit down harshly on his lip. "Do you need to ask?" he muttered harshly and dug his fingers against his own palm like he had earlier. "If we're going to do anything, leave the power out," he muttered weakly and strained to open his eyes sternly.

"But then it wouldn't be training." He giggled in response, wrapping his arms around the boy completely, pulling him closer. "I'll be gentle" He cooed, somehow bringing a hand around without Neku noticing, and grasped his partner's erection with only a slight sting of power at the contact. "Just follow my lead, dear."

Neku pointedly bit back a moan and shifted so that he could rest his forehead against the pulsing shoulder of his partner. "I-if you aren't I'll kill you in your sleep," he threatened and breathed in shakily.

"Ohh, now is that any way to talk to your _master_?" Joshua whispered back with his own threat, but was more mocking than serious. Gently he stroked Neku's shaft, his other hand guiding his hips closer to his body in an almost rhythmic fashion - before slipping a warm finger inside the younger boy's entrance, without any warning.

Neku jolted up somewhat in surprise and squinted his eyes before grumbling something incoherent under his breath. "Josh...don't think it'd be wise to…here," he murmured and buried his face further against the shoulder with a breathy moan.

"_Scared_, Neku?" The Composer purred, nipping at the brunet's ear as he moved both of his hands, inserting a second finger inside only seconds after the first.

"No," Neku muttered and tensed up a bit, forehead molding to the shoulder he leaned against. "J-just cautious," he attempted to state nonchalantly.

"Where's the thrill when there isn't a little essence of danger...?" The silver-haired man chuckled, moving his fingers deeper inside the younger boy, the physical contact steadily becoming more and more 

intense with the volume of power - but the pain was nowhere near as intolerable as before, only sending currents of electricity up Neku's spine every now and then.

"Joshua...later," Neku murmured and arched some, body shuddering at the intrusion and plethora of power that was entering him. "I promise," he urged and closed his eyes, panting some. "We need to practice...o-other things."

"Oh? And this isn't doing the trick?" The Composer grinned with lidded eyes, obviously not feeling the same wave of urgency his partner was. Wrapping his spare arm around the brunet's back, he pulled their bodies flush against one another, having to lean his head down from the height difference, his lips brushing against Neku's ear. "You need to learn to finish what you've started, dear..."

Neku felt his body shiver increasing amounts. "I meant pins and that sort of thing," he whispered, neck arching at the warm breath tickling his neck and ear. "You know what I mean..."

"And I could hardly care less." Was the simple reply, before he shoved a third finger inside the younger boy with less of a gentle touch than before. Power sparked again. "Don't think you can try giving me orders, Neku... You won't come out unscathed."

"..._Josh_!" Neku winced and bit his bottom lip, eying the Composer with a sharp stare. "Come on...not here," he groaned and tilted his head back, panting some at the uncomfortable power.

For once the silver-haired man didn't reply - which was quite possibly scarier than any witty retort he could come up with at this point - and merely smiled. He gave his partner a somewhat frightening gaze, one of dominance and power... one that calmly told him, without words, he would have his way.

With the slightest movement, Joshua dug his fingers in farther, pressing harshly against a small bundle of nerves deep inside him, intensifying the body's reaction by contorting his power from a sharp jolt of electricity, to a steady flame that resonated from his fingertips.

Neku threw his head back at once from the onslaught of power. His eyes screwed shut and he parted his lips weakly, a mixture between a moan and groan escaping them. There was pleasure, yes, but there was also a steady wave of pain from the amount of energy entering his body so constantly. His back arched some, body shaking.

"If you accept it, Neku..." The Composer uttered, pressing his lips to the brunet's exposed neck, running his tongue hotly against the skin. "The pain will fade." Slowly he retracted his fingers, leaving the boy in his arms shaking wordlessly. "And if you continue to face it with hesitance," He continued in a whisper, almost rhythmically guiding the younger boy's hips closer, his breath gliding against his jawline. "_It will erase you."_

Without another word of warning, he gripped Neku's hips tightly and ground him down against his own - filling the boy completely with his erection in an instant, the difference in size noticeable immediately with the change in the Composer's form.

Neku winced at the sudden larger intrusion and dug his fingers down against the cold ground of the training area. His breath hitched and hot drops of water collected in his eyes. This was nothing compared to the night prior. There was the ever present notion of being erased in Neku's mind, causing the youth to forget almost all together about pleasure.

"Josh-h...ua, I can't do this," he whimpered. His mind wasn't in the right mindset. Fear was too far present and Joshua really wasn't helping the matter.

"Yes you can," Was the harsh reply, as hands that once tightly held Neku's hips slowly trailed up his back, resting at his shoulder blades as his arms helped to hold the boy up. There was an odd hint of 

hesitance in his voice as he spoke, voice softer but still somehow just as strong. "Relax... breath. Don't fear my power, respect it. It will only harm you if you believe it will."

"Josh..." Neku murmured and kept his eyes closed, sucking in deep breaths as instructed. He remained still for a moment as he forced himself to accept the power he wasn't accustomed to.

"Maybe if you just kissed me instead of scaring me I'd...do better," Neku murmured and visibly relaxed from his fearful and petrified state a few moments prior, the power less painful, far less.

"Then you wouldn't be able to breath," At last the Composer finally cracked a smile, but leaned down, capturing the younger boy's lips in a soft kiss that refreshingly contrasted from his harsh ministrations from earlier. Gently he brought a hand up to cup Neku's cheek, his thumb running against the corner of his eye, wiping away the tears that had formed there.

"Don't be scared," He whispered, their lips still in tact as dark violet eyes watched him carefully. "Do you really think I'd let you die from this...?"

Neku wasn't sure quite what to say after the kiss. The question lingered in his mind. He had several answers enter his mind right away but he rejected them. Joshua had let him die twice but it was for good reason, right? Joshua had good reasons for everything, so why should he be afraid?

"Josh...you scare me sometimes," Neku confessed as he breathed out evenly, voice even and unwavering.

At first there was no reply, but it was hardly because Joshua was surprised by the statement - quite on the contrary, he was well aware that he frightened the boy more than a few times. Fear was a driving emotion that he could easily control... fear was what helped Neku's body progress its tolerance level way beyond what he initially thought possible. It wasn't the most desired emotion to choose from, but it was the quickest and easiest to induce and produce results. Of course he wasn't doing it for kicks... but every once and a while he'd find himself disgusted with the realization that he enjoyed the feeling of dominance that terror produced.

But he couldn't tell Neku that - not just yet. It wouldn't help his progression in the slightest. And still, he was horribly torn from keeping the successful route of fear, and breaking down and stopping completely.

"Really now?" He did his best to give the brunet his usual nonchalant grin, hopefully covering up that moment of inner turmoil. He had to stay focused. He couldn't let Neku get too comfortable, but he obviously didn't want to see the boy in tears again. "Not the first time I've heard that statement from someone."

Neku didn't doubt that Joshua had scared countless people before. He didn't even bother thinking up scenarios or incidents--he didn't want to imagine what Joshua was capable of and the fear he had induced on others.

"Sometimes I just... wish you wouldn't... I don't want you to be afraid of you, you know?" he murmured weakly, mind vaguely focusing on accepting the incoming power.

Slowly the Composer's smile fell, not expecting his resolve to be cut down as much as it had been by a few simple words. "Damn it, Neku..." He whispered, voice practically inaudible as he averted his gaze from his partner's, mind going into a haze as he tried his best to ignore the weakness in Neku's voice. It didn't exactly help that when his goal is something akin to terror, he wanted to comfort Neku every time he seemed scared. They only have a day left at most before the Angels find them... he needed to force the younger teen to do this. It may hurt him, but it would give him a much better chance at surviving the war that was to come. "There are always times when fear is necessary, Neku..." Damn it, he couldn't keep doing this.

Neku observed Joshua for a few moments, considering his words. Fear was necessary a lot of times. Fear helped in war, and in other things as well, but in a relationship? During something like this that the night prior had been so damn good? It was hard to wrap his mind around the idea so rapidly.

"I agree with you, I really do, but..." He closed his eyes, unable to look at the Composer. "...everyone needs something they can rely on, something they know they won't be afraid of. It keeps them going, keeps them fighting for what's right," he stated breathlessly. "I _need_ that, Josh..."

Suddenly the silver-haired man gave Neku a look of self-loathing, even though he knew their eyes didn't meet. Good lord, he really had been selfish, hadn't he? He simply assumed he knew what was best for his partner, when he didn't even take the chance to try and see things from his point of view. Even if what he had been doing would ensure stability of the power between them, if Neku didn't have faith in him, that could just as easily get him killed on the battlefield as being absorbed by the Composer's Imagination. In the end, all he really succeeded in doing was broadening the gap between them.

Over 300 years old and he still acted like a spoiled child.

"I'm sorry..." Was all he could muster after the long moments of silence, his hold loosening on the younger boy. "I didn't realize..." He paused for a minute and laughed a bit darkly. "...Guess I'll always be an insufferable bastard. No matter what I try to accomplish, I always end up hurting you in the process... pulling you into my Game with Megumi, dragging you back to the UG when you should have gone with the Angels, now this..."

"Joshua, you're not understanding me," Neku mumbled and inhaled deeply. "I want to understand you, to be able to be around you completely no matter what the hell frequency or form you have. I'm willing to go through the pain and everything. I just need you to be there for me. I need to believe completely that I'll be safe with you."

After such a long speech, the brunet felt a bit light-headed and drowsily rested his head back down, chest rising and falling quickly. "I love you, Josh..."

Joshua blinked at his words, lifting his arms up to hold Neku once more as he rest against him. Slowly he gave his partner a melancholy smile, relieved to hear that he wasn't hated beyond all reason - and by now, he was sort of expecting it. He supposed only someone as tolerant as Neku would be able to endure him for any amount of time he supposed... "I love you too," He whispered, allowing the flow of power to weaken just slightly as he rest his head against Neku's. "I'm just sorry I can't decide how to show it." Going 300 years without anyone but Sanae really messed up his people skills. Not that he didn't already know that.

"Then I better stick around awhile to teach you how to show it," Neku whispered weakly with a hint of humor in his voice. He was strained from all the training of the day, but not at the point of passing out. He blindly reached out and brushed his hand down along the other's back.

After going so long without the feel of a willing touch, Neku's simple action elicited a gasp from the Composer, his arms tightening around the younger boy ever so slightly in response. He vaguely noticed that he was still inside the brunet, but since they had been so still, and the flow of power was so strong, the pleasure was nearly nonexistent - until now. "Neku..." He breathed, gliding a hand up to tangle his fingers in his partner's orange hair.

"If you…wanna take me," he gasped, a small smile appearing on his face, "Go ahead...just, do it like you would in any other situation," he finished and closed his eyes, tilting his head back. "Don't hold back, all right?" A soft gasp lift his lips.

The ethereal man groaned slightly in response, shifting his hip, moving inside Neku just enough to feel it. God, he was so tight... It took barely any movement at all to cause him to gasp. "Don't... hold 

back?" He laughed slightly, gliding his lips along the brunet's neck, before nipping at his ear. "Didn't think you wanted that..."

Neku released a hot groan of pleasure. "What I ... didn't want was for you to purposely scare me…" he moaned and closed his eyes, panting the other's name under his breath. "I don't mind the sex."

"Mm... you just 'don't mind' it?" He grinned, moving his hands back down to the brunet's hips as he pulled out slightly, before thrusting back in again. Damn... he was still unable to fit entirely inside Neku... it really made a difference in this form.

"Hah..." Neku moaned and threw his head back some, concentrating solely on the pleasure and not the pain. "Did I say 'mind'? Nah, I meant something more along the lines of want it," he gasped out breathlessly, arching his body.

"If you want it... you should... start moving more before I pin you to the ground..." The Composer breathed, for once unable to completely control the situation with Neku being the one one top this time. "... Or take you from behind..."

Neku smirked some weakly and moved his hips down against the Composer's, sparks of both power and pleasure entering him. "Josh," he breathed out pleasurably and continued moving his hips in a grinding motion, panting heavily at the sensations.

Joshua echoed him almost immediately, leaning forward as he let out a groan, lips brushing against his partner's ear. "G-god, Neku..." He whispered, trying to take steady breaths, but failing horribly. "So tight..."

Neku groaned in pleasure as he continued moving, his body trembling insanely every time that it was hit in that sweet spot nestled deep within. His eyes fell to half mast as he continued moving his hips sensually, clinging to the other with everything he had.

The ethereal Composer found himself chanting his partner's name with nearly every little movement, as Neku continued his erotic dance, leaving Joshua gasping for breath, unaware he was even holding it. Now that his power was steadily flowing between them, strong but tame, it seemed like everything - every touch, every sound - was amplified, creating a new string of music he'd never heard before, entangling itself with the plethora of other tunes he could hear Shibuya emit. It was refreshing, new, and insanely pleasurable... and though he never wanted the feeling to stop, he felt himself getting closer and closer to his limit.

"Neku..." He breathed out in a moan, hands moving to the dip in Neku's back, fidgeting slightly as he didn't know exactly where to hold onto. "I-I'm going to...!" His breath hitched as the brunet ground against him again. He was close, so close... but he held onto that last strand of sanity for as long as he possibly could.

Neku pressed his chin hotly against the Composer's shoulder, one arm lazily wrapped around the other, one steadying himself as he moved frantically, angling his almost-thrusts so that the bundle of nerves deep within him would be hit each time. By now his eyes were finally screwed tightly shut and all he could feel was Joshua. The power from earlier seemed to flee his mind as he ground against his Joshua, body numbing from the building tension and sparks of pleasure.

"'Love you," Neku declared sloppily, quickly, and breathlessly as he crashed their lips together as he felt his body spiraling out of control, climaxing without any other warning. His back arched at an insane angle as he continued moving his hips, riding out the heightened sensation as he kept close to Joshua.

Joshua tried to reply, but at the moment he opened his mouth, his voice failed to work and only succeeded in eliciting a guttural moan that echoed along the walls of the subspace. In a sudden burst of power, he gripped Neku's hips harshly and forced him down completely on him, burying himself completely inside his partner with a cry of his name. His already ethereal form flash with a temporary glow similar to what happened the night before, as he came deep inside the brunet, the waves of pleasure twice as intense as he remembered it should be, almost losing consciousness himself as he held onto Neku in a tight, protective embrace. He didn't want to let go... he wouldn't let go. All that mattered was that Neku was here, in his arms, crying his name just as he himself cried Neku's - and he didn't want to lose that feeling.

Neku groaned, his body finally stilling. He collapsed on top of the Composer, eyes shutting firmly as he rested his head against Joshua's chest, hair drenched in a thick film of sweat. His body shivered from the after effects of his orgasm, not even bothering to move an inch to get more comfortable or to clean.

"Josh..." Neku murmured drowsily, his arm weakly reaching up to curl around the other's neck, holding the older close to his own exhausted body.

The silver-haired Composer smiled weakly, one arm still wrapped around Neku's middle, his other across his shoulder, fingers entangled in his orange locks. "I love you, too." He whispered, finally able to voice a reply, his lips pressing warmly to his partner's forehead with tender emotion.

"Sleep now, dear heart... Rest, and I shall wake you when you've recovered." He spoke softly, but his words resonated through the air between them, echoing slightly with a musical undertone. He wanted to stay like this longer, to simply relax in the younger boy's presence, but he could tell Neku was exhausted. He needed to rest.

Neku nodded drowsily, nose pressed warmly against the exposed skin of the other's chest. "'M...not tired at all," he muttered defiantly, arms tightening around the Composer. "Not...tired..." he yawned and hooked his leg weakly with Joshua's, eyes shutting comfortably as he felt sleep overcome his exhausted and worn out body.

--oo0oo--


End file.
